Dick Quote #517

Quote from Dick in Will Work for Dick

Mary: Dick, I think your phone's ringing.
Dick: [runs into secretary's room and answers phone] Dick Solomon's line. Who's calling?
Mary: [on the phone] [Southern accent:] This is Luella from the Dean's office. Please tell Dr. Solomon we need copies of all past purchase orders for the past 18 months.
Dick: Uh, uh, purchase orders? Uh, yes, I dropped them off this morning [hangs up] "You never dropped those off, you liar!" "How do you know? You weren't even there." "I can tell just by looking at you." "I can't work like this." "Obviously not." "Such mistrust!" "Well, get out, then!" "Fine, I will!"

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 ‘Will Work for Dick’ Quotes

Quote from Harry

Dick: You'll only have to perform the most basic of tasks. You've sent out mail before.
Harry: Nope.
Dick: Well, you've stapled before.
Harry: I have not.
Dick: Well, surely you've used a paper clip.
Harry: Oh, you mean those cotton things you put in your ears?
Dick: Harry, how many fingers am I holding up?
Harry: Two.
Dick: You're hired.

Quote from Harry

Harry: So, Dick, you know what I overheard at the water cooler?
Dick: What?
Harry: That there's this weird guy hanging around the water cooler.

Quote from Harry

Dick: Harry, get out here. Now! Why is my out box full?
Harry: Because the mail just came in.
Dick: Well, why did you put it in the out box?
Harry: Because it came out of the mail.
Dick: And why is my letter to the Dean in the inbox?
Harry: Uh, well, the Dean won't be back till tomorrow, but once he's in, the in goes out.
Dick: Harry, things in the out box are going out.
Harry: Well, why don't we just get one big box? That way we'll put everything in there. I mean, that's 50% less box.
Dick: That's not how it's done. Harry, anyone with half a brain could do this job. What is your problem?
Harry: Dick?
Dick: Yes.
Harry: Talk to the hand.