Dick Quote #1296
Quote from Dick in Charitable Dick
Father Matthew: Good morning. Oh, uh, Father Matthew. Well, I'm sorry to keep you waiting. Ben, this is Dr. Solomon, the nice man who gave us the money to have the bus fixed.
Ben: Thank you, Dr. Solomon. [hugs Dick's leg]
Dick: Oh, well, hey, you're very welcome.
Father Matthew: Thanks to your generous pledge, we can fix the bus, and our kids will see things they have never seen before. [Dick tries to shake Ben off his leg] The tire and rubber works in Akron, the Miniature Golf Hall of Fame, Wapakoneta, the home - the birthplace of Neil Armstrong, and of course, the Air and Space Museum, and the aquarium.
Dick: Oh, yes, aquariums are nice, if you like fish, but-
Father Matthew: And there's also a chance we can take a day trip to see the Toledo Mud Hens.
Dick: Now, that's all very well, Father Matthew.
3rd Rock from the Sun Quotes
‘Charitable Dick’ Quotes
Quote from Tommy
Tommy: Okay, mission statement.
Harry: Mission statement.
Tommy: What is our mission?
Harry: Well, you know, I always remember it by our mission song.
Tommy: Oh, right, right.
Harry: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [sings] Across the void we come a-warping... dum diddle dee lee ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh...
Tommy: [sings] Glorious and something something... dum diddle dee lee yadda yadda... spaceship!
Quote from Harry
Harry: So, uh, what is this thing you're going to, anyway?
Dick: It's a charity auction.
Tommy: And what's charity, again?
Dick: Well, all I know is they're giving out free drinks and paddles with numbers on them.
Harry: Well, I guess that's what charity's all about, getting liquored up and spanking your neighbor.
Quote from Dick
Dick: "Dear friend of the environment." Great. All of a sudden, every charity in the world is asking me for money.
Mary: Well, once you get on one charity's mailing list, you're on them all.
Dick: Yeah, but, how are you supposed to judge who gets priority? Do I adopt a fruit bat, save the rain forest, or build shelters for America's homeless?
Mary: You just help the ones you can, Dick.
Dick: Yeah, but why me? Why can't they just help each other?
Mary: And how would they do that?
Dick: Simple. The rainforest guys cut down the jungle to build affordable housing, America's homeless moves in, and once they get settled, they'll be happy to open their homes to fruit bats. It's not rocket science.
Mary: That's not how it works.
Dick: Oh, I know how it works. I fork over $1,700, and all I get is a painting of two monks and a shovel. The guy couldn't even paint hands. They look like potatoes. I want my money back!