Dick: "Dear friend of the environment." Great. All of a sudden, every charity in the world is asking me for money.
Mary: Well, once you get on one charity's mailing list, you're on them all.
Dick: Yeah, but, how are you supposed to judge who gets priority? Do I adopt a fruit bat, save the rain forest, or build shelters for America's homeless?
Mary: You just help the ones you can, Dick.
Dick: Yeah, but why me? Why can't they just help each other?
Mary: And how would they do that?
Dick: Simple. The rainforest guys cut down the jungle to build affordable housing, America's homeless moves in, and once they get settled, they'll be happy to open their homes to fruit bats. It's not rocket science.
Mary: That's not how it works.
Dick: Oh, I know how it works. I fork over $1,700, and all I get is a painting of two monks and a shovel. The guy couldn't even paint hands. They look like potatoes. I want my money back!