Dick Quote #386
Quote from Dick in Dick Jokes
Comedian: Well, don't over-think it, you know? Just talk about things you know. That's what I do.
Dick: Yeah. You make fun of your poor mother's flabby arms.
Comedian: Hey, those flabby-arm jokes made her the most popular senior in Fort Meyers, Florida.
Dick: You-- You mean, she doesn't hate you for it?
Comedian: Hate me? No. She loves me for it. It's a joke.
Dick: You mean, tricycles don't really fall out of her arms?
Comedian: Uh, no.
Dick: Oh, my god! Of course they don't! I mean, just think how flabby her arms would have to be for a tricycle to be up in there, and for so many years. And she didn't even notice it, not even when she took a shower. That's hysterical. I get it. I get the joke! Thank you! Thank you so much!
3rd Rock from the Sun Quotes
‘Dick Jokes’ Quotes
Quote from Harry
Tommy: What happened to your coat?
Harry: I don't know what happened to it, so Ms. Dubcek let me borrow this one. Sweet woman.
Tommy: So you lost your coat? Oh, tough break.
Harry: I lost more than a coat, Tommy! I lost a friend, a buddy, a companion who kept me warm when it was cold and warmer when it was really sort of too hot to be wearing a coat.
Quote from Sally
Dick: Imagine how different war would be if instead of trying to kill each other, people just showed up armed with jokes.
Sally: But you could still have guns, right? Because, you know, eventually you'd stop laughing and want to get on with the killing.
Quote from Sally
Dick: Lieutenant, I need your help. I need you to find out what's funny.
Sally: Oh, I can't. [knocks Harry down with a plank of wood] I've got to build this, I ran out of room for my shoes.
Dick: Well, this is more important. It's about me!
Sally: Well, how am I supposed to know what's funny? [knocks Harry down again]
Tommy: What's so important about a sense of humor anyway?
Dick: Oh, come on, Tommy. Having a sense of humor is having the power to transform someone's mood, to lift his spirit. You give it to someone you love when she really needs it. And I just found out today that Mary's been getting it from another man.
Tommy: Dick, I think this whole " being funny" thing is just innate.
Dick: What do you think, Lieutenant?
Sally: What do I think? [Harry ducks as Sally swings the plank] I think either you got it or you don't. [Sally knocks down Tommy]
Dick: Oh! Look what you just did! [Sally knocks down Harry and then Tommy again]
Sally: What's wrong with you guys?
Dick: Come on! Wake up, you two! [sprays them with water] Come on! How am I ever gonna find out what's funny?