Harry: Hi, my name is Harry Solomon. My turn-ons are sunshine, beach houses, and baking bread with my blouse off.
Alan: I wasn't rolling.
Harry: Oh, I'm sorry.
Alan: All right, Harry, this is all about just being yourself. I want you to just relax, act natural, and have fun, okay? All right, here we go.
Harry: Okay. I was brought up on the backstreets Learned to love before I could eat Educated, ow-Ww! At Woodstock I'm a soul man!

Tommy: Personally, I think Dick's going a little overboard with the whole thing. You have to realize making love to Mr. Randell is your decision.
Sally: You're right. I'll do it. I mean, what do I have to lose except my virginity? Good-bye, Mr. Hymen.
Tommy: You're firing our accountant? Oh.

Dick: You know, I feel sorry for you. I mean, this afternoon, I'm going shopping for drapes with Dr. Albright, and you'll be alone. And tomorrow I'm taking Dr. Albright to the recycling center, and you'll be alone.
Sally: The way I look at it, Dick, I'm embarking on an adventure. I mean, the dating world is like a huge food court for me, and I can take my little red tray anywhere I like.
Dick: I don't follow.
Sally: Well, you see, Dick, it's like, with you, you know you're going to have grilled cheese every day, day after day after day after day. But me, tonight I might go Italian. Tomorrow, Greek. Next week, who knows? Mexican, Chinese...
Harry: Hot dog on a stick.