Harry: Hi, my name is Harry Solomon. My turn-ons are sunshine, beach houses, and baking bread with my blouse off.
Alan: I wasn't rolling.
Harry: Oh, I'm sorry.
Alan: All right, Harry, this is all about just being yourself. I want you to just relax, act natural, and have fun, okay? All right, here we go.
Harry: Okay. I was brought up on the backstreets Learned to love before I could eat Educated, ow-Ww! At Woodstock I'm a soul man!

Tommy: Personally, I think Dick's going a little overboard with the whole thing. You have to realize making love to Mr. Randell is your decision.
Sally: You're right. I'll do it. I mean, what do I have to lose except my virginity? Good-bye, Mr. Hymen.
Tommy: You're firing our accountant? Oh.

Dick: You know, I feel sorry for you. I mean, this afternoon, I'm going shopping for drapes with Dr. Albright, and you'll be alone. And tomorrow I'm taking Dr. Albright to the recycling center, and you'll be alone.
Sally: The way I look at it, Dick, I'm embarking on an adventure. I mean, the dating world is like a huge food court for me, and I can take my little red tray anywhere I like.
Dick: I don't follow.
Sally: Well, you see, Dick, it's like, with you, you know you're going to have grilled cheese every day, day after day after day after day. But me, tonight I might go Italian. Tomorrow, Greek. Next week, who knows? Mexican, Chinese...
Harry: Hot dog on a stick.

Tommy: Well, Sally, here on Earth, humans change for their lovers. August and I always accommodate each other's wants and needs. For example, I stopped wearing Old Spice, and she's stopped telling me to stop wearing Old Spice.
Sally: Oh don't compare my mature relationship to your little Tigerbeat tryst.

Harry: You know, I envy you. Everybody in this house has got somebody except me. But when I do make my love connection, lady beware. I change for no one.
Sally: Harry, you know, you sound like an idiot.
Harry: And that will never change.

Mr. Randell: Fine. I've decided. Lunch is over. [exits]
Waitress: Aw, listen, hon, there are other fish in the sea.
Sally: I don't want to hear about the specials, lady.

Mary: The point is, breaking up with Kevin was smart. He wanted you to be something you're not, and you're fine just the way you are. I like you, Sally.
Sally: I didn't know you liked me.
Mary: Well, I do. You're a strong, opinionated, intelligent young woman. Unpredictable at times, a little scary, but, hell, that's you.
Sally: That is me. I like me, too, but why didn't Mr. Randell?
Mary: Well, he's just not the right guy for you. But you'll find someone. I mean, just look at you. Those legs, that hair-
Sally: Please! I've been dragged through the muck enough today.
Mary: Just chalk this up to experience.
Sally: Thanks, Dr. Albright. You're so nice. I always thought you were such a bitch.
Mary: Oh, I am, but, hell, that's me.

Alan: Perfect Mate has hundreds of compatible people for you. Let's go.
Sally: My name is Sally, and I'm strong, loud, opinionated, and aggressive. I'm a big, angry virgin, and I'm happy about it. Oh, and I also enjoy walking barefoot in the sand, and the poems of Rod McKuen. So, if you're man enough for me, let's make a date.

Dick: Look, maybe you need a little something to, uh to get you in the mood. I have a movie that you can borrow.
Sally: Homeward Bound. Is this supposed to help?
Dick: Couldn't hurt. The scene where the cat falls off the wet log... you'll notice that part of the tape is a little worn.

Sally: You know, Mr. Randell, we've only been out on six dates, but already I feel comfortable with you. You make me feel so feminine, which is ironic 'cause I could snap your neck like a twig.