Sally: I am so psyched Cathy's gone. You know, it drove me nuts thinking someone could take my place here.
Tommy: Well, it drove August nuts to see Alissa take her place. She took out a full-page ad showing my head on the body of a jackass.
Sally: Ha! What does that mean?
Tommy: Oh, it's obvious. She still loves me.

Dick: I sure do love cleaning, but, you know, these regular paper towels just don't do the trick.
Harry: Well, that's right, Dick, and they also leave unsightly streaks on the window.
Tommy: Say, have you tried The Zephyr?
Dick & Harry: The Zephyr?
Tommy: Well, sure. It's not just a school newspaper anymore. The Zephyr is incredibly absorbent. Have a look. Watch and see how strong The Zephyr is, even when wet.