Dwight K. Schrute Quote #641
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in Murder
Jim: So let's just say that Dwight has come at you with the throat punch. Now how would you, Dwight, defend against it?
Dwight K. Schrute: Easy. Allow me to demonstrate. I am attacking myself with a throat punch. Here it comes. Block. Grasp wrist as such.
Jim: And what if he comes at you with the other hand, because he does have two.
Dwight K. Schrute: Good point. Second, throat punch, absorb the blow. Groin punch, hip block, elbow to the gut. Uh oh, up to the nose. No, you're not. Ow! Oh!
Jim: Oh my God, he's making you look like such a fool.
Dwight K. Schrute: He really is, but not for long. Ow! Instep, oh, not again. [screaming] You let go, you let go. Oh, you're right, I can't hold on.
Jim: You two are so evenly matched I don't know how one of you is going to get the upper hand.
Dwight K. Schrute: The important thing to remember, Jim, we always have what is called the element of surprise. [hits himself in the groin and moans]
The Office Quotes
‘Murder’ Quotes
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: Voodoo Mama Juju, explain your dalliance with the Dark Arts.
Angela: It's not my fault, I was exposed to Harry Potter.
Dwight K. Schrute: I know you did it!
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: I know she didn't do it. It's never the person you most suspect. It's also never the person you least suspect, since anyone with half a brain would suspect them the most. Therefore I know the killer to be Phyllis, a.k.a. Beatrix Bourbon, the person I most medium suspect.
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: [on cell phone] What? Oh my God! [everyone starts asking questions] There has been a murder. There's been a murder in Savannah.
[aside to camera:]
Michael Scott: Games have the power to distract people from stressful situations. Battleship got me through my parents' divorce. Operation got me through my vasectomy, i.e., my operation. I don't think I would have been able to endure my breakup with Holly had it not been for Toss Across.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: How can I pose this to you in a relatable way? You are all members of the Yakuza and you happen to be visiting the Lackawanna trolley museum and you are attacked by triads. How can you hold them off until your clan arrives? You cannot go wrong with a throat punch.
Jim: Okay, so there's no defense for that, good to know.
Dwight K. Schrute: No, there is a defense for that. Let me demonstrate. Someone attack me. Kevin, go!
Kevin: No way. Last time you pulled my pants down and then you tried to choke me with my shoelace.
Dwight K. Schrute: False. I did choke you with your shoelace. Now come at me!
Jim: Okay, with all due respect to everyone here, I think the most worthy opponent of you is you.
Dwight K. Schrute: That is correct. Unless there happened to be measles present.