Jim: So let's just say that Dwight has come at you with the throat punch. Now how would you, Dwight, defend against it?
Dwight K. Schrute: Easy. Allow me to demonstrate. I am attacking myself with a throat punch. Here it comes. Block. Grasp wrist as such.
Jim: And what if he comes at you with the other hand, because he does have two.
Dwight K. Schrute: Good point. Second, throat punch, absorb the blow. Groin punch, hip block, elbow to the gut. Uh oh, up to the nose. No, you're not. Ow! Oh!
Jim: Oh my God, he's making you look like such a fool.
Dwight K. Schrute: He really is, but not for long. Ow! Instep, oh, not again. [screaming] You let go, you let go. Oh, you're right, I can't hold on.
Jim: You two are so evenly matched I don't know how one of you is going to get the upper hand.
Dwight K. Schrute: The important thing to remember, Jim, we always have what is called the element of surprise. [hits himself in the groin and moans]