Andy Quote #288
Andy: Okay, in that case I will now show you how to put this condom on... using this pencil. [Stanley laughs] What?
Oscar: Why would you choose a pencil Andy?
Andy: Well, I'm not gonna use my penis, Oscar! It's not exactly hard right now anyway.
Meredith: Come on, give it a rest pencil dick.
Andy: I'm doing this for you Meredith!
Meredith: I didn't want you it!
Andy: Well, did you- Why- Didn't- Does no one appreciate what I'm doing right now? [throws pizza box at wall] Whoa!
The Office Quotes
‘Sex Ed’ Quotes
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: Now, I'm no doctor, but it seems to me that we all have an obligation to the public health to track down anyone who gives us a disease, inform them of it, and take overwhelming revenge on that person. Again, I'm no doctor. I'm just a normal guy who enjoys revenge.
Quote from Michael Scott
Holly: [on the phone] Michael, you cried at that tagline for a movie you made up.
Michael Scott: He had no arms or legs. He couldn't hear, see, or speak. This is how he led a nation.
Quote from Pam
Michael Scott: Look, [sighs] It's a pimple, Phyllis. Avril Lavigne gets them all the time and she rocks harder than anyone alive.
Phyllis: That's no pimple, Michael.
Michael Scott: You mean cancer?
Pam: What? No! Wait, no. Definitely not cancer.
[aside to camera:]
Pam: It's just good to stop a Michael train of thought early before it derails and destroys the entire town.