Andy: Okay, in that case I will now show you how to put this condom on... using this pencil. [Stanley laughs] What?
Oscar: Why would you choose a pencil Andy?
Andy: Well, I'm not gonna use my penis, Oscar! It's not exactly hard right now anyway.
Meredith: Come on, give it a rest pencil dick.
Andy: I'm doing this for you Meredith!
Meredith: I didn't want you it!
Andy: Well, did you- Why- Didn't- Does no one appreciate what I'm doing right now? [throws pizza box at wall] Whoa!