Michael Scott Quote #1673
Michael Scott: Do you want me to stop seeing your mom? Is that how we're gonna get past this? Cause, I will.
Pam: Mmmmm... Yes!
Michael Scott: Well, that is not gonna happen!
Pam: Then why'd you even offer?
Michael Scott: Because I assumed that you want me to be happy because I want you to be happy.
Pam: Michael, let me make this very easy for you, I could give a [beep] about your happiness! Stop dating my mother!
Michael Scott: You know what? I'm gonna start dating her even harder.
Pam: What's that supposed to mean?
Michael Scott: You know what it means.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: I inserted a listening device into the belly of the mallard. Now I can observe Jim, trap Jim, and destroy Jim, just like in the Bavarian fairy tale. Only this time, the mallard skins the toad alive. And of course in this version you lose the whole veiled critique of the Kaiser thing.
Quote from Nepotism
Michael Scott: I suppose summer had to end sometime. It's sad, though, because I had a great summer. I got West Nile virus, lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. That got infected even though I peed on it. Saw Inception. Or at least I dreamt I did.