Ryan Quote #96

Quote from Ryan in The Lover

Dwight K. Schrute: Where did you get that mallard?
Kelly: What the hell is a mallard?
Dwight K. Schrute: That!
Kelly: Oh, Professor Damien D. Duck, Jim gave him to me.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, I gave that to him that as a gift, I'm taking that back.
Kelly: If you take it back, I'll scream.
Dwight K. Schrute: [sighs heavily] I'll give you five bucks for it.
Ryan: Twenty.
Dwight K. Schrute: Ten.
Ryan: Deal.
Kelly: You're so cool.
Ryan: [pockets the money] This reminds me, you owe me three bucks for gas.

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 ‘The Lover’ Quotes

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: I inserted a listening device into the belly of the mallard. Now I can observe Jim, trap Jim, and destroy Jim, just like in the Bavarian fairy tale. Only this time, the mallard skins the toad alive. And of course in this version you lose the whole veiled critique of the Kaiser thing.

Quote from Jim

Jim: Oh, so Dwight gave me this wooden mallard as a gift, and I found a recording device in it. Yes. So, I think if I play it just right I can get Dwight to live out the plot of National Treasure.

 Ryan Howard Quotes

Quote from Initiation

Dwight K. Schrute: Brain teaser. I have two coins, totaling 15 cents. One of them is not a nickel. What are they?
Ryan: A dime and a nickel.
Dwight K. Schrute: No. I said one of them is not a nickel.
Ryan: But the other one is. I've heard that before.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay. A man and his son get into a car accident. They are rushed to the hospital. The doctor says, "There is no way I can operate on this boy",
Ryan: "Because he's my son." The doctor is the boy's mother.
Dwight K. Schrute: A man is found hanging from the ceiling-
Ryan: He stepped on a block of ice, hung himself and the ice melted.
Dwight K. Schrute: A hunter-
Ryan: It's a polar bear, because you're at the North Pole.

Quote from Whistleblower

Ryan: Wuphf is a site that I'm launching to be the last word in social networking. For just $12.99 a month, Wuphf links up all your communication portals so you are always within reach. It's part of the dog pack, as I call it. But, look, why tell you when I can show you. [types on his phone] I just sent myself a Wuphf. [fax machine starts printing, windows pop up on Ryan's computer with "woof" sounds]
Erin: [on phone] Ryan, you have a Wuphf on line 1.
Ryan: Thank you, Erin. Wuphf!