The Office - Michael Scott Quote #1181
Michael Scott: Body image. We are here because there is something wrong with society.
Jim: See, you're always saying there's something wrong with society, but maybe there's something's wrong with you.
Michael Scott: If it's me, then society made me that way. Now, I know a lot of you are probably asking yourself, "Why are you dressed in a plus-size suit?"
Kevin: Because you're kind of doing Michael Klump.
Michael Scott: How do you know Michael Klump?
Oscar: Because it's your "making fun of fat people" character.
Michael Scott: How dare you! Michael Klump is a celebration of fat people.
Oscar: I think of him as more like a monster. What about, "I say, I say, I say, I sit on you"?
Dwight K. Schrute: No. It goes "I say, I say, I say, I sit on you!"
Michael Scott: No, no! You know what? Fat people, are not monsters. Why don't you guys have a little more sensitivity to the subject? Bang! Boom! Case in point. Look at the outside of this building. It is ugly. But you come inside, and it is beautiful. Just like this unappealing fat suit. Inside is a rather handsome, sexy, man.
Quote from Stanley
Stanley: I happen to be losing weight on my own for my own reasons. The truth is I have lost a little of my speed. A little of my fire. Here's what I used to look like. Look at those biceps. We were fighting the power and eating whatever we wanted.
Quote from Holly
Darryl: 2,336 pounds. Y'all need to learn some portion control.
Dwight K. Schrute: Wait a minute. Pam is on the scale.
Michael Scott: Oh, Pamcake. No, no, no. We would love your extra poundage, but you are going to be leaving us next week, so vamoose. Vamoose, Pam. Dunder Mifflin family only.
Dwight K. Schrute: Family only.
Darryl: All right, got it. 2,210 pounds.
Kevin: Pam, you weigh 226 pounds?
Holly: Almost, Kevin.
Pam: Not almost, though, Holly. I mean, not- Not close to 200.
Holly: [whispering to Kevin] Math is hard.
Quote from Nepotism
Michael Scott: I suppose summer had to end sometime. It's sad, though, because I had a great summer. I got West Nile virus, lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. That got infected even though I peed on it. Saw Inception. Or at least I dreamt I did.
Quote from Safety Training
Michael Scott: My life! Oh, my life!
Dwight K. Schrute: [through a megaphone] Michael, what's wrong?
Michael Scott: Everything's wrong. The stress of my modern office has caused me to go into a depression!
Dwight K. Schrute: Depression? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling bummed out?
Michael Scott: Dwight, you ignorant slut. Depression is a very serious illness. Over 32,000 people commit suicide every year according to a 2004 study.
Dwight K. Schrute: Is that the last year the data was available?
Michael Scott: Yes. My head is in such pain and turmoil.
Quote from Gossip
Michael Scott: How do you un-tell something? You can't. You can't put words back in your mouth. What you can do is spread false gossip so that people think that everything that's been said is untrue, including "Stanley is having an affair." It's like the end of Spartacus. I've seen that movie half a dozen times, and I still don't know who the real Spartacus is, and that is what makes that movie a classic whodunit.