Michael Scott Quote #759
Quote from Michael Scott in Safety Training
Dwight K. Schrute: Ready?
Michael Scott: Let's do it. Drop that sucker.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah!
Michael Scott: Bingo!
[The watermelon bounces off the trampoline and lands on a car roof. The alarm starts blaring.]
Michael Scott: Deactivate the car alarm, clean up the mess.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay.
Michael Scott: Find out whose car that is. If it's Stanley's, call the offices of James P. Albini, see if he handles hate crimes.
Dwight K. Schrute: Got it.
Michael Scott: Also, take apart the trampoline. Stick it in the baler.
Dwight K. Schrute: We're not allowed to use the baler.
Michael Scott: Have Padge do it or the sea monster.
Dwight K. Schrute: I'm on it.
The Office Quotes
‘Safety Training’ Quotes
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: My life! Oh, my life!
Dwight K. Schrute: [through a megaphone] Michael, what's wrong?
Michael Scott: Everything's wrong. The stress of my modern office has caused me to go into a depression!
Dwight K. Schrute: Depression? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling bummed out?
Michael Scott: Dwight, you ignorant slut. Depression is a very serious illness. Over 32,000 people commit suicide every year according to a 2004 study.
Dwight K. Schrute: Is that the last year the data was available?
Michael Scott: Yes. My head is in such pain and turmoil.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes. I have decided to shun Andy Bernard for the next three years. Which I'm looking forward to. It's an Amish technique. It's like slapping someone with silence. I was shunned from the age of four until my sixth birthday for not saving the excess oil from a can of tuna.
Quote from Kevin
Kevin: If someone gives you 10,000 to one on anything, you take it. If John Mellencamp ever wins an Oscar, I am going to be a very rich dude.