The Office - Michael Scott Quote #760

Quote from Michael Scott in Safety Training

Michael Scott: My life! Oh, my life!
Dwight K. Schrute: [through a megaphone] Michael, what's wrong?
Michael Scott: Everything's wrong. The stress of my modern office has caused me to go into a depression!
Dwight K. Schrute: Depression? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling bummed out?
Michael Scott: Dwight, you ignorant slut. Depression is a very serious illness. Over 32,000 people commit suicide every year according to a 2004 study.
Dwight K. Schrute: Is that the last year the data was available?
Michael Scott: Yes. My head is in such pain and turmoil.

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‘Safety Training’ Quotes

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Yes. I have decided to shun Andy Bernard for the next three years. Which I'm looking forward to. It's an Amish technique. It's like slapping someone with silence. I was shunned from the age of four until my sixth birthday for not saving the excess oil from a can of tuna.

Quote from Kevin

Kevin: If someone gives you 10,000 to one on anything, you take it. If John Mellencamp ever wins an Oscar, I am going to be a very rich dude.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Oh, my life.
Dwight K. Schrute: [through a megaphone] Michael, what's wrong?
Michael Scott: Everything is wrong, Dwight. The stress of my modern office has made me depressed.
Dwight K. Schrute: Depressed? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling bummed out?
Michael Scott: Dwight, you ignorant slut!
[aside to camera:]
Jim: Well, you know, the first performance was a little off, but I really think they hit their stride in the second show. Uh. I might even bring my parents tomorrow to the matinee. [Michael starts shouting again] Oh, excuse me. It's my favorite part.

Michael Scott Quotes

Quote from Nepotism

Michael Scott: I suppose summer had to end sometime. It's sad, though, because I had a great summer. I got West Nile virus, lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. That got infected even though I peed on it. Saw Inception. Or at least I dreamt I did.

Quote from Gossip

Michael Scott: How do you un-tell something? You can't. You can't put words back in your mouth. What you can do is spread false gossip so that people think that everything that's been said is untrue, including "Stanley is having an affair." It's like the end of Spartacus. I've seen that movie half a dozen times, and I still don't know who the real Spartacus is, and that is what makes that movie a classic whodunit.

Quote from Michael Scott Paper Company

Michael Scott: Maybe the Michael Scott Paper Company was a huge mistake. I should leave. I should go, and start my own paper company. That'll show 'em.