Dwight K. Schrute Quote #1230
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in The Farm
Aunt Shirley: [on a recorded video] Thank you for coming to my funeral. As I gaze at life's big sunset, I can't help but wonder where it all went wrong. You've all disappointed me greatly. Fannie. A single mamma in the city.
Dwight K. Schrute: Thank you.
Aunt Shirley: Jeb. A street pusher.
[aside to camera:]
Jeb: After I left the army, I bought a 9-acre worm farm from a Californian. Turns out "worm" means something else out there. And, I am now in the business of... pain management. Or, the smoking of pain management.
[also to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: I can't stand the fact that Jeb is a pot farmer. He could've grown anything. Anything in the world. He used to talk about growing a peanut-grape hybrid. One plant, one sandwich.
The Office Quotes
‘The Farm’ Quotes
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Erin: Dwight, what a ridiculous, fancy clown you are.
Dwight K. Schrute: I am dressed according to the Schrute codes of mourning. My aunt Shirley has died.
Pam: Oh, Dwight. I'm so sorry. Were you guys close?
Dwight K. Schrute: I would say that she raised me, but let's not kid each other. I raised myself. She was, however, the closest thing I had to a mother.
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: My actual mother was very cold and distant. I'd say she was the closest thing I had to an aunt.
Quote from Creed
Pam: We can't let him buy our forgiveness with cupcakes. He was awful to us. And, he still is. How much is a cupcake? $2.50? Is that the price of our dignity?
Creed: $3.75 a cupcake, actually. $3.67 if you buy a dozen.
[aside to camera:]
Creed: I never forget a number. Names? In one ear and out the other. Places? Nope. Faces? That's rich. But, numbers? I have a gift. I guess that's why I'm an accountant.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: We Schrutes don't need some Harvard doctor to tell us who's alive and who's dead. But, there was an unlucky streak of burying some heavy sleepers. And, when grave robbers discovered some scratch marks on the inside of some of the coffins, we decided to make sure that our dead were completely dead. Out of kindness.