Dwight K. Schrute Quote #910

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in Doomsday

Andy: And I'd like to add that your work has been a little sloppy. So, Dwight and I have implemented a new program that we like to call... Dwight.
Dwight K. Schrute: The Accountability Booster. It registers every time a mistake has been made in the office. From a late delivery to an accounting error. Five strikes in a day equals a home run. One home run and you're out.
Andy: If we as a group make five mistakes in a day, something bad happens like we block Minesweeper.
Dwight K. Schrute: Or in this case an email gets sent to Robert California containing the consultants report from last year. Remember the one that recommended the branch be shutdown? And as a fail-safe also every negative email you've ever written about him to the group will also be forwarded to him.
Kelly: What emails are you talking about?
Dwight K. Schrute: Robert's favorite songs: Creep by TLC, Creep by Radio Head. You remember that one, Jim? "There is no way he hasn't strangled at least one stripper", Oscar. "He eats his yogurt like he is punishing it for disappointing him", Kelly.
Kelly: That's not that bad actually.
Dwight K. Schrute: "P.S. We should should kill him."

Rate

 ‘Doomsday’ Quotes

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Last night I dreamed that the number two was the most valued number in the world. The vice president had all the power. Athletes fought for silver medals. Women were considered the best gender. And stadiums of fans shouted "We're number two!' As with all my dreams, I'm guessing it was about my fear of immigrants.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Andy: Where you going?
Dwight K. Schrute: In. I'm hungry.
Pam: Uh, could we come in too? Just for some water.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay. Take off your shoes. Except you Kevin, they stay on.
Pam: Oh, wow. I forgot how pretty your house is.
Dwight K. Schrute: This is the new addition, built by Erasmus Schrute in 1808. It doubled as a tuberculosis recovery room until 2009.

Quote from Stanley

Andy: You know what, fine! I try to start fun traditions for you guys, but if you don't want to sing, no traditions!
Stanley: [singing] Closing time, every new beginning...
[aside to camera:]
Stanley: I've never heard that song before. And once I heard it, I did not care for it. But that song means it's time to go home. Now, it's my favorite song.