David: So listen, Michael. Your branch has been doing great lately, and your sales staff is reporting very strong numbers. Outperforming last year, in fact. And I don't know exactly how to put this, but what are you doing right?
Michael Scott: Right, what?
David: Utica, Albany, all the other branches are struggling. But your branch is reporting strong numbers. Look, you're not our most traditional guy, but clearly something you are doing is right and I need to get a sense of what that is.
Michael Scott: David, here it is. My philosophy is basically this. And this is something that I live by. And I always have, and I always will. Don't ever for any reason do anything to anyone for any reason, ever, no matter what.
No matter where or who, or who you are with or where you are going, or or where you've been. Ever. For any reason whatsoever. This is gonna sound sort of high maintenance, but could we have it, like, three degrees cooler in here? I always think better when it's cooler.

Dwight K. Schrute: Rule 17. Don't turn your back on bears, men you have wronged, or the dominant turkey during mating season. There are 40 rules all Schrute boys must learn before the age of five. [singing] Learn your rules, you better learn your rules, if you don't, you'll be eaten in your sleep

Meredith: I've had two men fight over me before. Usually it's over which one gets to hold the camcorder.