Michael Scott Quote #439
Quote from Michael Scott in Drug Testing
Michael Scott: So, I need you to do some work on the Saint Andrews account. I need your urine, I need some filing done.
Dwight K. Schrute: What kind of filing?
Michael Scott: Just forget it. Just the urine.
Dwight K. Schrute: That goes directly to the tester.
Michael Scott: Just- I need your urine.
Dwight K. Schrute: Like in a cup?
Michael Scott: Yes, in a cup. We're not animals, Dwight.
Dwight K. Schrute: For what purpose?
Michael Scott: It's none of your business.
Dwight K. Schrute: Then I refuse.
Michael Scott: Okay, all right, just I went to an Alicia Keys concert over the weekend. And I think I may have gotten high accidentally by a girl with a lip ring.
Dwight K. Schrute: Are you serious?
Michael Scott: I need clean urine for the lady. [sighing]
Dwight K. Schrute: But that's illegal.
Michael Scott: Don't think of it that way. It's like urine goes all over the place. You know, there's no controlling it. It just-
Dwight K. Schrute: Not my urine.
Michael Scott: A cup could find its way under the urine. It might be an accident.
The Office Quotes
‘Drug Testing’ Quotes
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: I like the people I work with, generally, with four exceptions. But someone committed a crime, and I did not become a Lackawanna County volunteer sheriff's deputy to make friends. And by the way, I haven't.
Quote from Jim
Jim: I'm just saying that you can't be sure that it wasn't you.
Dwight K. Schrute: That's ridiculous. Of course it wasn't me.
Jim: Marijuana is a memory loss drug, so maybe you just don't remember.
Dwight K. Schrute: I would remember.
Jim: Well, how could you if it just erased your memory?
Dwight K. Schrute: That's not how it works.
Jim: Now, how do you know how it works?
Dwight K. Schrute: Knock it off, okay? I'm interviewing you.
Jim: No! You said I'd be conducting the interview when I walked in here. Now, exactly how much pot did you smoke?