Mike Quote #1081
Quote from Mike in The Christmas Miracle
Frankie: Oh, shoot. I'm all out of roof.
Mike: Pace yourself. You've been hitting that house a little hard.
Frankie: I need comfort food. Our son doesn't want to go to church. What did we do wrong?
Mike: We didn't do anything wrong. He's older now. He's starting to think for himself.
Frankie: What is this "think for himself" crap? Did you put that in his head?
Mike: You're spitting gingerman.
Frankie: You're the one that was always saying, "We gotta bring the hammer down." Well, now it's time for you to bring the hammer down and bring it down hard.
Mike: He's an adult. You can't tell an adult what to do.
Frankie: [scoffs] Like hell I can't. I'm telling you what to do right now. I want you to bring that hammer down. Yeah. That's right. I'm looking at you. I don't care how tall you are. You don't scare me. You're gonna do what I say and get your boy to church.
Mike: Frankie, who am I to force him? I don't even know how much I believe. I basically just go for you.
The Middle Quotes
‘The Christmas Miracle’ Quotes
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: Well, at least someone has a passion for the holiday. The kids are just so blah.
Mike: So, we start later in the day. Who cares?
Frankie: Don't you get it? Now that they're not little anymore, the magic is gone. Remember when they used to wake us up at 5:00 a.m. and jump on our bed?
Mike: I remember you cursing into your pillow.
Frankie: "Damn it" isn't a real curse.
Mike: You didn't say "damn it." You said...
Frankie: The point is, once you made me get up, I just loved how they couldn't wait to open their presents. And now all they want are gift cards.
Mike: I remember you cursing about having to go out and shop...
Frankie: The holidays are stressful! That doesn't mean you don't like 'em!
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: Oh, my God. I could not even come up with a good reason why I go to church. I mean, who am I? Is my whole life a lie?
Mike: Just keep talking about it.
Frankie: Don't... No, don't mock me now, Mike. I'm very upset. I have to talk about this.
Mike: No, I want you to. Your breath is hot. It feels good.
Frankie: No, you don't understand. I'm the mother. I'm supposed to be the spiritual center of the home. Like, while you're out hunting and gathering, I'm supposed to make them righteous. They're not righteous. "Teach your children well." That's from Corinthians.
Mike: That's Crosby, Stills & Nash. Why does it feel like there's sand in the bed?
Frankie: It's gingerbread window crumbs. No, this whole time when I'm supposed to be caring about their spirituality, all I ever prayed for was for the girl I liked the most to be picked on The Bachelor, which is a terrible waste of prayer. By the time it airs, he's already picked her.
Quote from Brick
Brick: What's a Yankee Swap?
Frankie: Oh, it's this really fun party game where everybody brings a present, and then you get to pick one from a pile or steal someone else's.
Brick: Why is it called "Yankee Swap"?
Frankie: I don't know.
Brick: I'm assuming it has something to do with the slave trade.
Frankie: What? No! They would never name a party game after that!
Brick: Depends who "they" is.