Sue Quote #275
Quote from Sue in The Guidance Counselor
Jane Marsh: Ms. Bratton, I want to talk to you about the yearbook photos and this young girl-
Mr. Farrar: Uh, oh, you know, I'm sorry, but, uh, we're just getting ready to celebrate Colleen's birthday... Yeah. The new algebra sub.
Jane Marsh: Are you kidding me? The sub gets a birthday cake? I've been here 17 years. I never got a cake.
Mr. Farrar: Who are you again?
Jane Marsh: I'm the guidance counselor! And just because I'm only here on Tuesdays and Thursdays due to budget cutbacks does not mean I'm not an important part of this school's community, so from now on, I demand respect. I want a bigger, closer parking spot that has my name on it, and I want a cake for my birthday, which happens to be November 13th, just FYI, and I want all of you to start learning my name, because down at the bottom of that spooky old basement hallway sits a woman, and her name is Jane Marsh!
[After Jane holds up the underside of tray she brings the lemon bars in on, the staff tilt their heads. Jane realizes the label is upside down, so she rotates the tray. Jane and Sue leave the faculty lounge.]
Jane Marsh: Wow. That felt really good. Oh. Right. You. [returns to the faculty lounge] And this girl is going to be in the yearbook.
Ms. Bratton: It's gone to press.
Jane Marsh: Then un-press it.
The Middle Quotes
‘The Guidance Counselor’ Quotes
Quote from Mike
Salesman: Now let's get you two out of here. I'm sure you're busy. Would you like the extended warranty?
Mike: No.
Salesman: Assembly and delivery for $50 is usual-
Mike: No.
Salesman: Old mattress removal?
Mike: Nice try, but no.
Frankie: Let me save you some time. It's all "no." This is exactly how he was with the doctor, and that's why he got the-
Mike: Frankie!
Quote from Brick
Frankie: I made dinner.
Brick: Hang on. I'm on hold with the President.
Frankie: How's the bed looking?
Mike: Like it's still in the box. Sue, pass the chips. Brick, come on. Dinner.
Axl: He's holding for the President. He thinks he can talk him out of the Fitness Challenge.
Brick: Great. I'm being transferred to the Department of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms. [whispers] Tobacco.
Quote from Mike
Frankie: You always do this, Mike. I try to change the slightest thing, and you go nuts, like when I switched ketchups. It's just ketchup!
Mike: The old ketchup was good. I was happy, something you'll never be because you're never satisfied... And you're always running around changing stuff.
Frankie: You know, when I told Nancy Donahue that you didn't want to get a new bed...
Mike: Why are you telling Nancy Donahue anything?
Frankie: Because she's my friend. If it were up to you, no one would know anything personal about us.
Mike: That's why they call it "personal"!