Mike Quote #250
Quote from Mike in Taking Back the House
Axl: Great. You guys got the wrong pizza. It has yellow things all over it. What is this?
Frankie: [gasps] Pineapple pizza! Oh, Mike.
Mike: Still good, huh?
Axl: I still don't get it. Why are you doing this? What is this about? You trying to teach us some kind of lesson?
Frankie: Axl, you really think we have nothing better to do than sit around, thinking up lessons to teach you?
Mike: This isn't about you. Your mom and I love this pizza, and we never get it. Now we're getting it.
Brick: But we don't like this pizza.
Mike: You'll eat what we provide. In the wild, when the lion brings back the zebra he just killed, the cubs don't get to say... " [whimpers] We don't like zebra. We wanted wildebeest." When the lion brings back zebra, everybody eats zebra.
Axl: But I don't like zebra! I want wildebeest!
Mike: Well, all we've got is zebra.
Sue: But the zebra has pineapple on it.
Brick: Wait. Who's the lion in this story?
Mike: I'm the lion. I'm the lion in all the stories. [high-fives Frankie]
The Middle Quotes
‘Taking Back the House’ Quotes
Quote from Brick
Brick: Mom, Dad, a Nigerian prince desperately needs our help. There's a coup, and he needs our bank account information in order to transfer millions of dollars out of his country. In exchange for our help, he'll give us $3,000! Hurry! The bank closes in half an hour.
Frankie: It's a scam, Brick. Not everything on the Internet is true.
Brick: So there's not beautiful singles in my area dying to meet me? I have to update my blog.
Quote from Mike
Mike: Come on. Get up.
Brick: Hey, we were here first.
Mike: You were? Because I don't remember seeing you in 1991 when I bought this house.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: We're pathetic, Mike. Pathetic. Our parents would have never put up with this.
Mike: Hmm.
Frankie: I hated green peppers, but my mom always made me eat them, 'cause that's what we had. On Thursdays, I had to choke down those green peppers.
Mike: My dad watched The Hoosier Farm Report every night. And guess what I watched? The Hoosier Farm Report.
Frankie: And here's our kids stretched out on our couch, watching our big TV, eating like kings, and we're standing here hunched over the counter, eating crappy shreds of chicken from the taco place. How did we let this happen? When did this start?
Mike: I don't know. But I'll tell you when it stops.
Frankie: No, no. That clock is broken. Axl was playing ball in the house after I told him not to.
[Mike walks into the living room and takes the TV remote from Axl]
Axl: What are you doing?
Mike: I'll tell you what we're doing. We're taking back the house.