Axl Quote #1185

Quote from Axl in The 200th

Sue: Oh! Axl! I told you to stop making jokes about freezing my head!
Axl: I'm sorry. I just can't help myself.
Sue: Okay, I'll tell you what. I'll help you out. But, if I do, you can never make another head-freezing joke again... ever.
Axl: Done, done. I promise. No more head-freezing jokes for the rest of your life.
Sue: Okay.
Axl: But once you're dead, all bets are off... and so is your head.
Sue: Axl!
Axl: Last one, I promise.


 ‘The 200th’ Quotes

Quote from Mike

Nancy: Um, o-o-okay, well, if anybody else wanted to talk about our town or...
Mike: I'll do it. Hi. Mike Heck. Uh, born and raised in Orson. Uh, listen, when I first heard about this whole, um, 200th thing, I thought it was dumb. But the more I thought about it... the more I thought about it... I started to think maybe it isn't such a bad idea. 'Cause this town deserves to be noticed. But not by some magazine, by us. Now, I'm a guy who gets up and puts on the same thing every day... a plaid shirt and jeans... just so I don't have to think about it. And we all do that... we get up, we go to work, we make dinner, put the kids to bed, and we forget... how lucky we are, how fortunate we are to live in a town where, uh, Maricela stands out in front of her store with a plate, asking if you want to try a butter cookie. Or... Or... Or Joe at the stereo store... Well, that's what they called it when I was growing up. You go in there, he always says hi, you ask him how his day's going, he always says, "Great." Or how 'bout Lee? She's the... She's the heart and soul of this town. I think she was here when it was founded. [light applause] And Bill... When my roof was leaking, Bill came over and helped me patch it, and he left his hammer at my house. So I returned it to him, but he said, "It's not even my hammer." Somebody else had left it at his house when we were all there fixing the fence. So, that's why, yesterday, I put that hammer in our family's time capsule. 'Cause I think people in the future should know that this is a town where people help each other out. 'Cause you do for family. And that's what we are. So, you know, uh, we're... we're, uh... we're lucky. We're really lucky. Uh... okay. I guess that's all I got. [cheers and applause]

Quote from Mike

Frankie: God, I guess we're lucky we found each other. We're soulmates, right? One in a million.
Mike: I don't know about that.
Frankie: What?
Mike: I mean, I'm glad it worked out, but if I hadn't met you, I'm sure I would've found someone.
Frankie: Mike!
Mike: What? There's millions of people in the world. Are you saying I wouldn't have found one? I'm not hideous.
Frankie: Yes, and then you wouldn't have our kids.
Mike: Yeah, but I would have other kids that I loved. I would love whatever kids I had.
Frankie: [scoffs] I can't believe you.
Mike: Even this whole town thing. I mean, yeah, Orson's great and all, but if I had lived somewhere else, I'm sure I would've found a lot of things to like about that place, too. There's hundreds of thousands of towns across America. It's a big place, Frankie.
Frankie: You're lucky you buried that hammer. [kisses Mike]
Mike: Aw.

Quote from Brick

Frankie: "Three acts of bravery"?
Brick: Yep, and I have to have them done by the cow rededication ceremony. So, I jotted down a few ideas on the bus, and I want to run 'em by you guys.
Brick: Rank them one to five, with five being the bravest.
Frankie: Brick, this Frugal Hoosier chicken's on the clock here.
Brick: First one... foiling a bank robbery.
Mike: Five for bravery, one for how the hell are you gonna make that happen?
Brick: Hmm. Walking through a hail of gunfire like Wonder Woman?
Frankie: Please don't dress like Wonder Woman.
Brick: Holding in my poop all day?
Mike: Solid three.
Brick: Hmm. How upset would you be if I set fire to the house if I was reasonably sure I could put it out?
Mike: [sighs] Could you make it look like an accident?