Mike: You know when I was happiest? I mean really happy? When I was driving everybody. When they were small, and I'd be driving. Didn't matter where. It was just me at the wheel and you next to me and those three idiots in the back. And I knew everything was okay, 'cause I was driving. And I had it. I had everybody.

Brick: How many stars should I give this graph paper? A nine is extremely satisfied, but an eight is very satisfied. That's a pretty wide gap. They really should have half grades. Dad, what's it like to be extremely satisfied?
Mike: You're asking the wrong guy, Brick.
Brick: Okay, well, have you ever been very satisfied?
Mike: I'd be somewhat satisfied if you let me watch my show.
Brick: I just don't want to mess up here. The world is relying on my answers for their graphpaper-buying needs. "How does this graph paper compare with others?" That's like asking you to choose your favorite child.
Mike: That's not as hard as you'd think.
Brick: I need a second opinion here. I'm losing my mind. How does that feel?
Mike: Like paper.
Brick: How would you describe the weight of it?
Mike: Like paper.

Brick: I'm gonna give it a seven for comparability.
Mike: Okay.
Brick: You're comfortable with seven?
Mike: Yeah.
Brick: I'm gonna click it.
Mike: Please do.
Brick: Once I hit this button, that seven's written in stone.
Mike: Good.
Brick: You're being awfully cavalier.
Mike: Brick. [Brick clicks] Damn it.
Brick: I knew it. It's a six. Any idiot could see it's a six.