Brad: I'm sorry, Sue. I just have to get this off my chest. I'm gonna confess that I'm a little envious I didn't get tapped.
Sue: Oh, Brad. No, it's where you work. It is really hard to make your mark at The Great Hot Dog Adventure. I mean, how are you supposed to shine when you're only working with three condiments?
Brad: I know! I did graduate magna cum relish from hot-dog college. How does that not put me on the radar at Chop Suey U.S.A.?
Sue: I didn't even think about that. Sue-y. It has my name in it. Ooh, it's like a sign!
Brad: You know, I bet it's because I dropped that gallon of mustard. Everybody saw it. It's those damn free hand-lotion samples at Crabtree & Evelyn. How can you not try them? Anyway, this is about you. Go on.
Sue: As much as it scares me to go into international cuisine... You know, I got lean in... to Chinese. I am gonna work at Chop Suey U.S.A.
Brad: Oh! Oh! And you get to wear the polo shirts with the golden dragon coiled around the American flag. [Sue gasps] I am officially peanut butter and jealous.

Sue: It's just so hard to know what to do. Not only that, I said I would tell her by tonight. I mean, of course I am flattered to be wooed. Who wouldn't be? And then there's the salary... they're offering four figures.
Brad: What?
Sue: $10 an hour.

Mike: No, it's a tradition. When I turned 21, my dad told me to come help him move some manure. But when I got there, he took me out for a beer instead.
Axl: Why didn't you just ask me to have a beer?
Mike: 'Cause that's not the thing.
Axl: I don't get it.
Mike: You think you're coming home to work, and then you don't. You know, it's... it's a surprise. It's whimsical.
Axl: But you don't like surprises.
Mike: I know. And I'm not liking them a hell of a lot right now.
Axl: Hold on. So you didn't actually move manure?
Mike: No. There was no manure. But when my dad told me to come help him move manure, I damn well ran over there to help him move some manure. I didn't say I would and then send somebody else.
Axl: Was there or wasn't there manure?!
Mike: There wasn't! The point is, if there was manure, I would have moved it.