Axl Quote #221

Quote from Axl in Forced Family Fun (Part 1)

Frankie: You forgot shoes? How does a person forget shoes?
Axl: How does a person forget a snack bag? I guess the shoes I'm not wearing are now on the other foot.
Mike: Well, we can't stop to get you any, genius. We're in the middle of nowhere.
Axl: Relax! I don't need 'em. I've been barefoot all summer. My feet are practically shoes now anyway. Check out these leathery dogs. [all groan in disgust]
Mike: Axl! Come on.
Axl: Oh, my God! You can't handle this, what are you taking us camping for? I mean, it'll be like going on vacation on the bottom of my foot.

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 ‘Forced Family Fun (Part 1)’ Quotes

Quote from Brick

Mike: Look, Brick, you know all the people that wrote these books you read?
Brick: Authors.
Mike: Yeah, I know what they're called, Brick. Point is, they had to actually do something to have something to write about, to... to experience stuff around 'em. Nobody wrote a book about reading a book.
Brick: Actually, they did. The Neverending Story, which was first published in German under the title Die Unendliche Geschichte. [whispers] Geschichte.

Quote from Axl

Sue: Wait, Axl, before you go, there's not some special high school ruled paper, is there? 'Cause I know there's college ruled, but I didn't see any high school ruled. Is there high school ruled?
Axl: Here's the thing. They don't really care that much about paper, but for some reason, they are crazy strict about erasers.
Sue: They are?
Axl: Yeah. There's this really specific one they want you to have. It's pink on one side, gray on the other, and they're really obsessed about it. This one kid last year tried to use the wrong eraser, and... Got expelled.
Sue: Really?
Axl: Uh-huh. Now he lives in an abandoned sewer pipe, and for dinner, all he eats is... Sue's an idiot.
Sue: Oh, ha ha, Axl. You are hilariously funny. So do I need a special eraser or not?!

Quote from Axl

Sue: Axl, we need to talk about the cafeteria. In high school, do we call it the "caf"? Because when Hannah Montana went to high school, they called it the "caf."
Axl: Sue, keep talking, but just remember, if I threw you out of the car right now, I'd be tried as a juvenile.
Sue: Is there one lunch period that's cooler than the other?
Axl: Whatever one you're not in.
Sue: Which one are you in?
Axl: Aah! Why are you asking me that?! Why is she asking me that?!
Sue: Because we're going to the same school, and I might need to go up to your table at lunch and ask you something!
Axl: Okay! [blows whistle] That's it! If you are insisting on going to school with me, we are setting some ground rules right now! No looking at me, no talking to me, no acknowledging me in any way. If an emergency happens, like Mom or Dad dies... or something, you can relay the message to Sean, and he will let me know, and I will see you at the funeral. Have I made myself clear?
Sue: But what if I... [Axl blows whistle] Or if I... [Axl blows whistle continuously] But what if there's an emergency and someone puts a bomb in my backpack and I might need...