Axl Quote #178

Quote from Axl in Spring Cleaning

Sue: Axl, did you hear that? They're coming to arrest us.
Axl: For what?
Sue: Penal code 35-45, section 3. We need to get our story straight.
Axl: Okay. Here's the story. We went to donate to charity, and... We did. Hope we don't get the chair.
Sue: But the sign... And the voice. Oh, that voice, it haunts me! Maybe we should tell mom and dad.
Axl: There's nothing to tell! Except that Spring Break was a major suck fest!
Sue: Well, just so you know, whatever happens, I got your back.
Axl: Sorry, Sue. I'd love to talk to you about this more, but my stapler's feeling pretty left out, so I got to go spend some time with it.

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 ‘Spring Cleaning’ Quotes

Quote from Brick

[Brick sits on the curb at a table with a tip jar and a sign which reads "Information $1"]
Boy: Hey, I got a history test coming up. Who was Abraham Lincoln's vice president?
Brick: Actually, he had two... Hannibal Hamlin, then Andrew Johnson, who became president after Lincoln was assassinated.
Boy: Sweet. Thanks. [puts a dollar in Brick's jar]
Brick: Tell your friends!

Quote from Brick

Brick: So that's the thing about divorce. Some couples rush into marriage without really thinking about the pros and cons. Others just grow apart. In the case of Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds, it was distance... and egos.
Boy: Thanks, but I actually came to tell you I misheard my parents when I was listening through the wall. They're not getting a divorce. They're getting me a horse.
Brick: Arabian or quarter horse? Because Arabians need a much bigger paddock. [whispers] Paddock.

Quote from Brick

Frankie: [v.o.] But this being America, in times of tragedy, there's always someone making a buck off of it.
[Brick's desk on the curb now includes a globe, a picture of the family, a telephone, a recorder, some books and a briefcase]
Brick: So to get the full cardio benefit at your age and weight, your target heart rate should be 137 for about 20 minutes.
[later:]
Brick: I.U. has about 32,000 undergrads, while Notre Dame only has eight.
Teen Boy: Thanks.
[later:]
Brick: [on the phone] Hi. I have that information for you about tupperware. If you want to call me back, I'll be here till 5:00. Then I have to take a bath. [hangs up] Next.