Mike Quote #975
Quote from Mike in Ovary and Out
Frankie: [baby fusses] Oh, my gosh. Do you know where we are?
Mike: [sighs] Hell?
Frankie: [scoffs] We just drove past the doll hospital, and you're about to turn on Applewood.
Mike: [scoffs] Ah, it's "the route."
Frankie: How many times did we take this drive to get the kids to stop crying when they were babies?
Mike: Must've been a lot, 'cause my body just drove us here automatically.
Frankie: Axl was the worst, remember?
Mike: Mm.
Frankie: Ugh! [baby cries, fusses] We had to drive with him for hours... and listen to that Sesame Street cassette over and over.
Mike: But we had to skip that song with the Count.
Frankie: Oh, yes! He was terrified of the Count! Aww!
Mike: I always liked Oscar. The guy just liked trash... [chuckles] ...and didn't want other people messing it. Why's that make him a grouch?
The Middle Quotes
‘Ovary and Out’ Quotes
Quote from Brick
Brick: Well, we got a great turnout at Font Club. Unfortunately, most of the kids are just in it for the credit. But there is this one guy, Gibson. He's a savant. He's a font savant. He's a safont!
Frankie: Brick, you're on your own for dinner tonight.
Brick: I just got to raise my game. I got too relaxed... You know, a little sloppy, a little lazy. So this is good. It's like when a new sports star comes in and forces the established sports star to up his sport.
Mike: That's right! That's what I'm talking about. [tries to high-five Brick; Brick misses]
Brick: [laughs] I'm gonna check out the new font websites, see what the kids are using these days.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: [sighs] Well, I'm fine.
Mike: You sound great.
Frankie: No, I am. My ovaries are fine. Unfortunately, they're like raisins. And not the cute, plump California ones that dance and wear gloves. They're like the hard, shriveled, sad, deformed ones in the Raisin Flakes we get from the Frugal Hoosier.
Mike: Well, this can't be a shock, Frankie. I mean, you are 50...
Frankie: I know what I am, thanks. [exhales sharply] You don't get it. Because they don't shut men's factories downs. They only shut women's factories down.
Mike: What factories?
Frankie: This factory. I mean, I liked knowing it was open. Now it's all red-tagged and padlocked with bulldozers in the parking lot.
Mike: I feel like anything I say here is gonna be wrong, so... you want to just hug me?
Quote from Brick
Brick: Dad, I need your opinion on this. I finally figured out why there are only three people in Font Club.
Mike: Because it's Font Club?
Brick: Exactly! It's a "Club," not an "Activity." But I petitioned the school to grant Font Club "Activity" status, so now kids can get community-service credit if they join. Now, let me walk you through the different fonts. I suggest you close your eyes between each one as a palate cleanser.
Mike: How 'bout I close my eyes for all of 'em?
Brick: Now, the first font in contention is Caviar Dreams. Clean, modern... [cellphone rings]