Mike Quote #973
Quote from Mike in Ovary and Out
Mike: Shut your eyes, Frankie. I got a surprise for you. Hey, baby. I got you a baby.
Frankie: I don't understand.
Mike: Nothing to understand... got you a baby.
Frankie: What do you mean, you got me a baby?
Mike: It's Dierdre's. She's letting us borrow it. I forgot to ask whether it's a boy or a girl, but I figure we'll find out eventually.
Frankie: What? Why are we watching it?
Mike: Well, she was supposed to go out, but her mom had some fake dizzy spell, but she was all dressed up, so I felt bad. She was wearing clunky jewelry. I don't know what that is, but she made it seem like it's a big deal.
Frankie: And you just offered to babysit?
Mike: Why do you sound angry?
Frankie: Because I am angry!
Mike: You said you wanted a baby.
Frankie: No, I didn't!
Mike: Yes, you did. You were upset about your dried-out ovaries, and you wished you could have a baby, so... [high-pitched] got you a baby!
The Middle Quotes
‘Ovary and Out’ Quotes
Quote from Brick
Brick: Well, we got a great turnout at Font Club. Unfortunately, most of the kids are just in it for the credit. But there is this one guy, Gibson. He's a savant. He's a font savant. He's a safont!
Frankie: Brick, you're on your own for dinner tonight.
Brick: I just got to raise my game. I got too relaxed... You know, a little sloppy, a little lazy. So this is good. It's like when a new sports star comes in and forces the established sports star to up his sport.
Mike: That's right! That's what I'm talking about. [tries to high-five Brick; Brick misses]
Brick: [laughs] I'm gonna check out the new font websites, see what the kids are using these days.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: [sighs] Well, I'm fine.
Mike: You sound great.
Frankie: No, I am. My ovaries are fine. Unfortunately, they're like raisins. And not the cute, plump California ones that dance and wear gloves. They're like the hard, shriveled, sad, deformed ones in the Raisin Flakes we get from the Frugal Hoosier.
Mike: Well, this can't be a shock, Frankie. I mean, you are 50...
Frankie: I know what I am, thanks. [exhales sharply] You don't get it. Because they don't shut men's factories downs. They only shut women's factories down.
Mike: What factories?
Frankie: This factory. I mean, I liked knowing it was open. Now it's all red-tagged and padlocked with bulldozers in the parking lot.
Mike: I feel like anything I say here is gonna be wrong, so... you want to just hug me?
Quote from Brick
Brick: Dad, I need your opinion on this. I finally figured out why there are only three people in Font Club.
Mike: Because it's Font Club?
Brick: Exactly! It's a "Club," not an "Activity." But I petitioned the school to grant Font Club "Activity" status, so now kids can get community-service credit if they join. Now, let me walk you through the different fonts. I suggest you close your eyes between each one as a palate cleanser.
Mike: How 'bout I close my eyes for all of 'em?
Brick: Now, the first font in contention is Caviar Dreams. Clean, modern... [cellphone rings]