Axl: What is the best way to pay myself for all the great things I do? Man, this is hard. I really want to do right by me. Brick, if you were me, what would you get me? You know what? You could never be me, so why even think about it? It's like God talking to an ant.

Sue: Okay, no, Mom. You pushed out Axl's pointy head, and didn't you say that Brick practically destroyed your insides?
Frankie: He did treat my uterus like a rock star in a hotel room. Just trashed the place and left.

Mike: Hey, I am thrilled to have my Sunday back, [clears throat] but isn't your mom supposed to come down?
Frankie: Oh, crap. You know what? She'll be fine with my Not Mother's Day. She just wants to see everybody, hang out, maybe have dinner.
Mike: Sounds a lot like Mother's Day.
Frankie: It's completely different. Hey, maybe you kids could make her a card. [kids groan]
Brick: "To the woman who gave birth to the woman who gave birth to me. Love, Brick."
Axl: "And Axl."
Sue: Hey, wait. Can I get in on that?
Axl: Can't put three names on a card, Sue. It's tacky.