Brick Quote #781
Quote from Brick in Survey Says...
Frankie: [v.o.] So, Brick set out to update his review of the Emerson Wales graph paper... repeatedly. He reviewed the density. He reviewed the line-to-space ratio. He reviewed the taste. The trouble was, as soon as he fixed one problem, he discovered another one and had to start all over again. After 23 updates, he'd had enough.
Carol: [on phone] Hello. This is Carol with customer service. How can I help you?
Brick: Hi, Carol. I'm one of your reviewers, and, sadly, I need to step down from my post.
Carol: Um... I'm sorry?
Brick: Everything was fine until I noticed that when I held the paper between my thumb and my index finger of both hands and I pulled in opposite directions, the paper would come apart.
Carol: You mean... it ripped?
Brick: Yes! I was speechless, too. Anyway, it was truly an honor to be chosen, and it's with a heavy heart that I must tender my resignation. Do you need it in writing?
Carol: Uh, no. This is fine. Um, is there anything else I can help you with today?
Brick: Not unless you can get the last 12 hours of my life back. [awkward silence] I'm kidding, Carol. I know it's not your fault.
The Middle Quotes
‘Survey Says...’ Quotes
Quote from Mike
Mike: You know when I was happiest? I mean really happy? When I was driving everybody. When they were small, and I'd be driving. Didn't matter where. It was just me at the wheel and you next to me and those three idiots in the back. And I knew everything was okay, 'cause I was driving. And I had it. I had everybody.
Quote from Brick
Brick: How many stars should I give this graph paper? A nine is extremely satisfied, but an eight is very satisfied. That's a pretty wide gap. They really should have half grades. Dad, what's it like to be extremely satisfied?
Mike: You're asking the wrong guy, Brick.
Brick: Okay, well, have you ever been very satisfied?
Mike: I'd be somewhat satisfied if you let me watch my show.
Brick: I just don't want to mess up here. The world is relying on my answers for their graphpaper-buying needs. "How does this graph paper compare with others?" That's like asking you to choose your favorite child.
Mike: That's not as hard as you'd think.
Brick: I need a second opinion here. I'm losing my mind. How does that feel?
Mike: Like paper.
Brick: How would you describe the weight of it?
Mike: Like paper.
Quote from Brick
Brick: I'm gonna give it a seven for comparability.
Mike: Okay.
Brick: You're comfortable with seven?
Mike: Yeah.
Brick: I'm gonna click it.
Mike: Please do.
Brick: Once I hit this button, that seven's written in stone.
Mike: Good.
Brick: You're being awfully cavalier.
Mike: Brick. [Brick clicks] Damn it.
Brick: I knew it. It's a six. Any idiot could see it's a six.