Frankie: [v.o.] So, Brick set out to update his review of the Emerson Wales graph paper... repeatedly. He reviewed the density. He reviewed the line-to-space ratio. He reviewed the taste. The trouble was, as soon as he fixed one problem, he discovered another one and had to start all over again. After 23 updates, he'd had enough.
Carol: [on phone] Hello. This is Carol with customer service. How can I help you?
Brick: Hi, Carol. I'm one of your reviewers, and, sadly, I need to step down from my post.
Carol: Um... I'm sorry?
Brick: Everything was fine until I noticed that when I held the paper between my thumb and my index finger of both hands and I pulled in opposite directions, the paper would come apart.
Carol: You mean... it ripped?
Brick: Yes! I was speechless, too. Anyway, it was truly an honor to be chosen, and it's with a heavy heart that I must tender my resignation. Do you need it in writing?
Carol: Uh, no. This is fine. Um, is there anything else I can help you with today?
Brick: Not unless you can get the last 12 hours of my life back. [awkward silence] I'm kidding, Carol. I know it's not your fault.