Axl Quote #957
Quote from Axl in Survey Says...
Axl: Oh, my God. I've been trying to tell you. You know, it doesn't take Freud to realize I've been crying out for help. Why else would I keep coming home for no reason? Why else would I forget the forms? I'm acting totally irresponsible and immature. I'm not myself at all.
Mike: Are you kidding me? What is so hard about playing football? Is it the cheerleaders hanging all over you? All the special attention? Or is it the fact that it pays for your college?
Axl: I have one year left at school. I don't want to waste it on something that's not going anywhere. I want to focus more on my classes or maybe get an internship or just have fun. I want to hang out with my friends.
Mike: Oh, okay, then why don't you go for the "hang out with my friends" scholarship?
Axl: I happen to know there is no such scholarship. Your sarcasm is very hurtful. I'm quitting, and we're done talking about it.
Mike: We're done when I say I'm done.
Axl: Stranger danger! This is not my dad.
Mike: What is wrong with you?
Axl: What is wrong with you?!
Mike: Get back out here! Axl! Don't you drive this house away from me!
The Middle Quotes
‘Survey Says...’ Quotes
Quote from Mike
Mike: You know when I was happiest? I mean really happy? When I was driving everybody. When they were small, and I'd be driving. Didn't matter where. It was just me at the wheel and you next to me and those three idiots in the back. And I knew everything was okay, 'cause I was driving. And I had it. I had everybody.
Quote from Brick
Brick: How many stars should I give this graph paper? A nine is extremely satisfied, but an eight is very satisfied. That's a pretty wide gap. They really should have half grades. Dad, what's it like to be extremely satisfied?
Mike: You're asking the wrong guy, Brick.
Brick: Okay, well, have you ever been very satisfied?
Mike: I'd be somewhat satisfied if you let me watch my show.
Brick: I just don't want to mess up here. The world is relying on my answers for their graphpaper-buying needs. "How does this graph paper compare with others?" That's like asking you to choose your favorite child.
Mike: That's not as hard as you'd think.
Brick: I need a second opinion here. I'm losing my mind. How does that feel?
Mike: Like paper.
Brick: How would you describe the weight of it?
Mike: Like paper.
Quote from Brick
Brick: I'm gonna give it a seven for comparability.
Mike: Okay.
Brick: You're comfortable with seven?
Mike: Yeah.
Brick: I'm gonna click it.
Mike: Please do.
Brick: Once I hit this button, that seven's written in stone.
Mike: Good.
Brick: You're being awfully cavalier.
Mike: Brick. [Brick clicks] Damn it.
Brick: I knew it. It's a six. Any idiot could see it's a six.