Sue Quote #707
Quote from Sue in Cutting the Cord
Sue: Uh, w-who's there?
Holly: I live here.
Sue: Oh, my God! Oh, you're Holly Haypek! [slurring] I'm Sue Heck. Oh. [removes retainer] [normal voice] Oh, I've been waiting for you forever. So, where are you from? I'm from Orson. I used to have long hair, but now I don't. I don't know if you like these posters, but I have some extras for your side if you want.
Holly: No beer?
Sue: No. But there's a hot-fudge sundae in there for you. Anyway, it's so good you're finally here, because you almost missed all of freshman week.
Holly: Yeah, well, I'm a junior, so not really an issue.
Sue: Oh. That's kind of weird that they put a junior and a freshman together. But, hey, we can still go to the dorm mixer and the roommate games.
Holly: Yeah. Nobody goes to those. They're lame.
Sue: Oh, okay. Well, that's the first time I've ever heard of an egg-and-spoon race being lame, but that is a really good tip. See? It's a great thing I've got a junior for a roomie. You can show me the ropes. Anything else I should know?
Holly: Yeah, okay, uh, let's see. Freshman year sucks. Sophomore year sucks. I'll let you know about junior year, but it's not looking good. I already got hosed in the housing lottery. I asked for a single. I'm going out.
The Middle Quotes
‘Cutting the Cord’ Quotes
Quote from Sue
Sue: [on the phone] [crying] Mom. I got... written up.
Frankie: S-S-S-Sue, slow down, okay? Focus. I need complete sentences a-and words.
Sue: It was all Holly's fault. And she doesn't even act like a Holly. She put swears on the walls and she's not even here now and I don't know where she is and I never know where she is. She never writes on the memo board. And she called Taylor Swift a skank, and I tried to tell her that she's just unlucky in love. And that I saw her in concert and she was awesome!
Frankie: Okay, Sue, honey. You just have to give it some time.
Sue: It's not just that. I'm making bad choices. I'm only eating ice-cream sandwiches, and I haven't pooped in three days! I keep waiting for nobody to be in the bathroom, but there's always somebody in the bathroom! I tried at 3:00 A.M., but that's when the barfers come in.
Mike: What is she saying? She can't poop in front of Taylor Swift?
Sue: And I know. I'm sorry that I keep bothering you. You said I was ready for this, but I... I'm not. And... and I don't want to be here anymore. And I hate college. And I just want to come home!
Frankie: Screw Ferber. We're heading up there.
Mike: Already out the door.
Quote from Axl
Frankie: [v.o.] Meanwhile, Axl was having roommate problems of his own... About a million of them.
Axl: There are ants everywhere! How did this happen?!
Hutch: Dude, it's getting worse. I thought you sprayed something.
Axl: Yeah, well, all I had was Axe body spray.
Hutch: Well, now they're more confident than ever.
Quote from Axl
Sue: And she doesn't even put sheets on the bed. She just sleeps on an old coat.
Axl: Ugh. Well, at least she leaves sometimes. Kenny was always around. It drove me nuts. I mean, we're all buds now, but that first month away, I was... pretty homesick.
Sue: Really? I didn't know about that.
Axl: Oh, yeah. There were times where I really missed Mom and Dad a lot.
Sue: You did? Did you tell them?
Axl: No way. Why's that their business? [sniffs] Anyway, I just wanted to check in, make sure you're doing okay, you know, not sitting around, listening to emo music or something.
Sue: Yeah, well, maybe I'm doing okay.
Axl: Look, it sucks for everyone at first, but by Thanksgiving, you're gonna be having so much fun, you won't even want to go home. [chuckles] Except for, like, food and laundry, money, stuff. [chuckles] Also, I could never take a dump in the dorms, so I would suggest doing all your pooping at home.