Axl Quote #614
Quote from Axl in The Carpool
Frankie: [v.o.] So, Axl was back for winter semester, and this time, he was hitting it hard.
Hutch: Ow!
Frankie: [v.o.] You see, Axl and Hutch had been embroiled in an epic finger-slap war for weeks with no winner in sight. At this point, it was going from open warfare to a covert operation inside enemy territory.
Professor Danzinger: So resulting in... Yes? You there? What is your name, sir?
Axl: Uh, Axl.
Professor Danzinger: Well, "Uh, Axl," given what we know about the theory of relativity and how it predicts that a compact mass will deform space in an energy vortex, what will this create? And explain.
Axl: This will, uh... [clears throat] predict and explain... a black hole, defined as a region of space-time where gravity prevents anything, even light, from escaping.
Professor Danzinger: Wow. I actually reached someone. Hm. Now I'm almost glad they defunded the space program so I can be here. You may sit.
Axl: Uh...
Frankie: [v.o.] No, Axl wasn't an astronomy genius. He just happened to watch Hot Tub Time Machine 27 times.
The Middle Quotes
‘The Carpool’ Quotes
Quote from Axl
Hutch: Damn. I was gonna hit you, but it looked like somebody beat me to it. What's going on? I haven't seen you in days.
Axl: I'm dying here, man. I'm crapping out in my real classes 'cause I'm spending so much time studying for a class I'm not even taking just to hook up with a girl. Now, when I say it out loud, it does actually make sense. I can't keep this up. Kenny, you got to help me, man. You got to help me, Kenny! Kenny!
Hutch: Hey, game over, man. Time to pull the rip cord. You got to come clean with this chick.
Axl: No. It's been so long since I touched a girl, Hutch. I thought when I came to college, it'd be this buffet of women from all around the world... Kentucky, Illinois, Northern Illinois but it isn't, man. It just isn't!
Hutch: Okay!
Axl: [feels pulse] What does a heart attack feel like?
Quote from Frankie
[Nancy honks her car horn outside]
Frankie: Damn it! I let you stay up late to watch Undercover Boss 'cause you said you could handle it. Now, where are your shoes?!
Brick: I was hoping you'd know.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: [v.o.] Axl was lucky. He only had one person mad at him. I had three.
[Bill honks his car horn outside]
Frankie: Damn it! I let you stay up late to watch the finale of Shark Tank after you promised me you would wake up early! What are you doing?
Brick: I'm jazzing up breakfast with a banana.
Frankie: Oh, no. Breakfast is over. Here. You can have it for lunch.
Mike: Axl says he can't go to the game 'cause he's boning up for some big astronomy test. Did you know he was taking astronomy?
Frankie: Of course I know he's taking astronomy. I'm his mother.