Brick: Mom, Dad, a Nigerian prince desperately needs our help. There's a coup, and he needs our bank account information in order to transfer millions of dollars out of his country. In exchange for our help, he'll give us $3,000! Hurry! The bank closes in half an hour.
Frankie: It's a scam, Brick. Not everything on the Internet is true.
Brick: So there's not beautiful singles in my area dying to meet me? I have to update my blog.

Mike: Come on. Get up.
Brick: Hey, we were here first.
Mike: You were? Because I don't remember seeing you in 1991 when I bought this house.

Frankie: We're pathetic, Mike. Pathetic. Our parents would have never put up with this.
Mike: Hmm.
Frankie: I hated green peppers, but my mom always made me eat them, 'cause that's what we had. On Thursdays, I had to choke down those green peppers.
Mike: My dad watched The Hoosier Farm Report every night. And guess what I watched? The Hoosier Farm Report.
Frankie: And here's our kids stretched out on our couch, watching our big TV, eating like kings, and we're standing here hunched over the counter, eating crappy shreds of chicken from the taco place. How did we let this happen? When did this start?
Mike: I don't know. But I'll tell you when it stops.
Frankie: No, no. That clock is broken. Axl was playing ball in the house after I told him not to.
[Mike walks into the living room and takes the TV remote from Axl]
Axl: What are you doing?
Mike: I'll tell you what we're doing. We're taking back the house.