Mike: You said you'd be dressed a half-hour ago. What's the hold-up?
Frankie: [sobs] I can't get out. I hurt my back plugging something in, and I didn't want to tell you, because I didn't want you to think I was old and pathetic, and look at me. I can't get out of the tub. I tried, and the whole curtain came down.
Mike: Have you been drinking wine in the tub again?
Frankie: Mike, somebody thought I needed diapers. Can you believe that? I always thought that we would grow old together, but I'm way ahead of you! I don't care what Dr. Oz says. Women absorb all the stress in marriage. Just ask Mrs. Dr. Oz! Do you even know the family's whole schedule... That Sue has cross-country from 3:00 to 5:00, and that Brick has the bookmobile every Saturday at 11:00? It takes a toll, Mike! I didn't ever remember our anniversary. Back, brain, bladder... That's how it goes.
Mike: Okay. Grab onto somethin'.
Frankie: Ow. Just go find a new wife. Be happy. Don't worry about me. I'll just be here, falling apart before my time. Just do me a favor. Plug everything in before you go.
Mike: Stop it, Frankie.
Frankie: Yeah. Look at... Look at my feet! I have the feet of a 90-year-old woman!
Mike: You're just pruny from the water. You're not falling apart.
Frankie: Oh, yeah, says the man in perfect health Who's carrying me like a fireman in his prime!