Eleanor Quote #76
Quote from Eleanor in Most Improved Player
Michael: Wait, this story's about t-shirts. There's more, isn't there?
Eleanor: A little.
[flashback:]
Alexis: Check this out. Somebody put the dry cleaners' story online, and it went viral. Madison's famous.
Eleanor: The "Dress Bitch"? Yikes.
Alexis: [laughs] Serves her right. Madison is psycho. She totally overreacted. This is her fault.
Eleanor: Yeah, her fault. That works.
Madison: [enters] You guys, what is happening? Someone egged my Lexus, and I have like 40,000 tweets calling me the "Dress Bitch"? Over a loser dry cleaner man? Why is everyone so jealous of me? This is a trash city full of idiots.
Alexis: [laughs]
Eleanor: The "Dress Bitch" is so catchy.
Alexis: Yeah.
Eleanor: I mean, someone could totally make t-shirts.
[present:]
Michael: Ooh... No, no. No. No. Do not tell me that you made t-shirts that said... that and then sold them for a profit?
Eleanor: Wish I could tell you that, bud. I really do.
The Good Place Quotes
‘Most Improved Player’ Quotes
Quote from Tahani
Tahani: I really do have sympathy for your situation. I mean, you thought your soul mate was a good person, and then you learned that she's just an immoral grifter.
Chidi: Tahani, please.
Tahani: Am I wrong? She lied to everyone. She caused a giant sinkhole into which poor Glenn fell. She caused a trash storm. She... Well, she pretended to be my friend when I really needed one. And, lest we forget, she murdered Janet. As far as I'm concerned, the sooner she's gone, the better off we'll all be.
Chidi: I... I understand that Eleanor violated our trust, but please, when you're talking to Michael, try to think about what she's had to go through.
Tahani: All right. I will, for you. But we've been through a lot as well. You know, I haven't been this upset since my good friend Taylor was rudely upstaged by my other friend, Kanye, who was defending my best friend, Beyonce.
Quote from Michael
Michael: Since Janet can't retrieve your file, I need to find another way to determine what kind of person you were. This is a quick litmus test. Handful of questions designed to tell whether you are fundamentally good or bad. Question number one: Did you ever commit a serious crime, such as murder, sexual harassment, arson, or otherwise?
Eleanor: No.
Michael: Did you ever have a vanity license plate, like "MAMASBMW," "LEXUS4LIZ," or "BOOBGUY"?
Eleanor: No.
Michael: Did you ever reheat fish in an office microwave?
Eleanor: Ew, no.
Michael: Have you ever paid money to hear music performed by California funk rock band "The Red Hot Chili Peppers"?
Eleanor: No.
Michael: Did you ever take off your shoes and socks on a commercial airline?
Eleanor: And socks? Ew, who would do that?
Michael: People who go to the Bad Place, Eleanor, that's the point. And unless I can figure out a compelling reason to keep you here, you will spend eternity with murderers, and arsonists, and people who take off their shoes and socks on commercial airlines.
Quote from Jason
Eleanor: Listen up, genius. He's gonna call you in there in a second.
Jason: Don't worry, I got you. I'll just tell Michael you're the bomb and that you got a dope soul and hella ethics.
Eleanor: Oh, boy. No, don't say any of that. Michael has a lie detector in there. It's a... it's a glowing cube.
Jason: Like the AllSpark? From Transformers?
Chidi: Sure, uh, just like the AllSpark from Transformers, and... and he'll know instantly if you're lying about anything so only smiles and nods, got it? [Jason nods]