Eleanor Quote #74
Quote from Eleanor in Most Improved Player
Michael: This file contains a compendium of all of the highest impact events from your life, that's the, uh, biggest positive and negative point swings. So "Little Julie," who's that?
Eleanor: Julie is my cousin's daughter. Her mom is kind of a mess, so I used to take her to the mall sometimes and bought her churro dogs. It's a hot dog, but the bun is two churros. And it's tied together with a Slim Jim. It's an Arizona delicacy.
Michael: Oh, sounds awful, but it's very nice that you made that girl happy. So what's this: "Kool Threadz, "Glendale, Arizona's Premiere T-Shirt Emporium"?
Eleanor: Uh, can we skip around and... and circle back? How about I tell you more about those churro dogs. They came with unlimited ranch dressing.
Michael: Let's hear about the t-shirts, please.
Eleanor: Eeeh, okay. I'll tell you, but it doesn't make me look great, so don't judge me.
Michael: That's literally the purpose of this entire exercise.
More The Good Place Quotes
‘Most Improved Player’ Quotes
Quote from Tahani
Tahani: I really do have sympathy for your situation. I mean, you thought your soul mate was a good person, and then you learned that she's just an immoral grifter.
Chidi: Tahani, please.
Tahani: Am I wrong? She lied to everyone. She caused a giant sinkhole into which poor Glenn fell. She caused a trash storm. She... Well, she pretended to be my friend when I really needed one. And, lest we forget, she murdered Janet. As far as I'm concerned, the sooner she's gone, the better off we'll all be.
Chidi: I... I understand that Eleanor violated our trust, but please, when you're talking to Michael, try to think about what she's had to go through.
Tahani: All right. I will, for you. But we've been through a lot as well. You know, I haven't been this upset since my good friend Taylor was rudely upstaged by my other friend, Kanye, who was defending my best friend, Beyonce.
Quote from Michael
Michael: Since Janet can't retrieve your file, I need to find another way to determine what kind of person you were. This is a quick litmus test. Handful of questions designed to tell whether you are fundamentally good or bad. Question number one: Did you ever commit a serious crime, such as murder, sexual harassment, arson, or otherwise?
Eleanor: No.
Michael: Did you ever have a vanity license plate, like "MAMASBMW," "LEXUS4LIZ," or "BOOBGUY"?
Eleanor: No.
Michael: Did you ever reheat fish in an office microwave?
Eleanor: Ew, no.
Michael: Have you ever paid money to hear music performed by California funk rock band "The Red Hot Chili Peppers"?
Eleanor: No.
Michael: Did you ever take off your shoes and socks on a commercial airline?
Eleanor: And socks? Ew, who would do that?
Michael: People who go to the Bad Place, Eleanor, that's the point. And unless I can figure out a compelling reason to keep you here, you will spend eternity with murderers, and arsonists, and people who take off their shoes and socks on commercial airlines.
Eleanor Shellstrop Quotes
Quote from Pandemonium
Eleanor: Yes, we will no longer be together. The Bad Place has pulled off the most intricate cork-blork of all time. Hmm, it's a nice touch that the cursing filter maintains the rhyme. I appreciate that attention to detail.
Quote from The Funeral to End All Funerals
Eleanor: Tahani improved so much over her many lives, but she also helped me improve. She taught me lots of stuff, like "Bras shouldn't be painful", and, "You don't buy bras at Home Depot", and "They don't sell bras at Home Depot. What the hell are you wearing?" For the record, it was a men's back support harness, and it worked in a pinch.