Janet Quote #11

Quote from Janet in What We Owe to Each Other

Tahani: Hello, Janet. Jianyu and I are here for the couples package, please.
Chidi: [clears throat] And also I will be joining them.
Janet: Great, and who is the other half of your couple?
Chidi: Oh, no, no, it's just me.
Janet: Couples are pairs of people.
Chidi: Yup, and, uh, there is a pair of people, Tahani and Jianyu. And then also I am here.
Janet: Great, and who will be joining you?
Chidi: No one. Um, it's really quite simple, Janet. They are a couple, and I am a third part of that couple. Uh, a helper part who is here for fun and excitement. It's a three-person couple.
Janet: [in robotic voice] Does not compute. Does not compute. [normal voice] I'm just kidding. [laughs] I mean, it doesn't compute, but I'm not gonna explode or anything.
Tahani: Right. Well, I'll see you inside, darling.

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 ‘What We Owe to Each Other’ Quotes

Quote from Michael

Michael: Oh, hey, Eleanor, thanks for coming in. Sorry about the mess. [clears throat] Oh, I forgot, you don't see in nine dimensions. There's just a lot of... there's a lot of tension in the air right now.
Eleanor: Are you okay, buddy? You seem kind of stressed.
Michael: No, no, no, I'm fine. Top of my game, actually. Uh, here, let me just, uh... Have a seat. There you go. So to prepare to meet all of you, I studied the human concept of friends. I even watched all ten seasons of the show Friends. Boy, those Friends really were friends, weren't they? Although... and I realize this is the kind of observation that would only occur to the mind of an eternal being... How did they afford that apartment? A waitress and a chef with those Manhattan real estate prices.
Eleanor: Yeah, we were all confused about that too.

Quote from Jason

Tahani: Jianyu, my love. How are you?
Jason: [looks at Magic 8-Ball] I am decidedly so.
Tahani: That's very profound.
Tahani: Um, soul mate... an idea. Our neighborhood now features a spa, and it offers couples packages. And I thought maybe we could get facials and do yoga and talk in long, discursive sentences. What do you say?
Jason: [looks down] Signs point to yes.
Tahani: Oh! Marvelous. We'll go today.

 Janet Quotes

Quote from The Eternal Shriek

Eleanor: Ugh, you want a robot killed right, you have to do it yourself.
Janet: Eleanor? Eleanor, no, no, no. Please, wait, wait, wait, wait. Eleanor, I have kids. I have three beautiful children... Tyler, Emma, and little, tiny baby Phillip. Look at Tyler. Tyler has asthma, but he is battling it like a champ. Look at him. No, Eleanor, look at them. [growling] Look at them! Look at them!
Eleanor: [yelps] It's so realistic!
Janet: Eleanor, again, I'm not human. This is a stock photo of the crowd at the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards.

Quote from The Brainy Bunch

Michael: Hey, how's it going?
Janet: Not good, Michael. I don't have my powers. I can't summon things. Dictionary. Spaghetti. Jet-ski. Giraffe. Gah! Look what I've been reduced to! Humans only live 80 years and they spend so much of it just waiting for things to be over.
Michael: I'm all out of sorts down here, too. I'm bad at lying now. That used to be my thing! And every part of my body is either too dry or too wet.
Janet: It's worse for me, man! Ever since we walked through that portal, my knowledge has stopped updating. The instant before we left, a man in Caracas, Venezuela, named Raul Benitez was eating a ham sandwich. Did he finish it? I don't know and it's making me crazy! I gotta find him.