Chidi Quote #173

Quote from Chidi in You've Changed, Man

Chidi: This is the problem with the current system. Live anything less than the most exemplary life, and you are brutally tortured forever with no recourse. The cruelty of the punishment does not match the cruelty of the life that one has lived. Now, watch this spin.
Eleanor: So, we need to come up with a system that will result in the least amount of cruelty and suffering to those who don't deserve it. This is a problem of justice.
Chidi: [kisses Eleanor] Hearing you talk about philosophical concepts of justice is sexy. You want to get out of here?
Eleanor: Yes. No. Keep going.

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 ‘You've Changed, Man’ Quotes

Quote from Jason

Jason: Tell me about it. I once went to jail for a week just because I stole a hot dog. Well, a hot-dog-shaped car. I stole the Wienermobile.

Quote from Tahani

Eleanor: Now all we have to do is convince Shawn.
Tahani: I'll take the lead. If I can convince Dr. Ruth not to sue Bruno Mars over songwriting credit on "Uptown Funk," I can handle this.
Eleanor: Okay, you gotta tell me that story on the way.

Quote from Judge

Judge: Ugh. All Janet voids are nothing, but Neutral Janet voids are, like, the most nothing.
Janet: Judge, please, please don't cancel Earth.
Judge: Why not? The system's broken. You guys proved it. I just want to reboot the whole thing, and go back to my chambers. I am on season three of Justified, and can I just tell you, it is so good. I, like, binged all of season two in a day.
Janet: Think of all the amazing human achievement you'd be eliminating. The works of William Shakespeare. The Pyramids. Timothy Olyphant.
Judge: Ooh, that one stings. There's, like, 50 gallons of man in a 10-gallon hat. I'm, like, oh! Look, I'm the freaking Judge, and I made a freaking ruling, and it's gonna freaking happen, soon as I find the freaking clicker thing. All right, what do I search for? "Humanity eraser button garage door opener thingy Judge." [groans]