Eleanor Quote #345
Eleanor: Yeah, I guess once you have the burden of saving humanity removed from your brain, life is dandy. Must be nice, Chidi.
Michael: That's what's missing. Chidi isn't being tortured. As far as he's concerned, he did everything right on Earth, so now he just gets to enjoy himself. If we don't force Chidi into stressful decision-making, he even have the chance to become a better person.
Eleanor: Right. You want to make a pearl, you gotta get some sand in your clam.
Michael: Oyster. We need Chidi to live in a world of low-grade dread.
Eleanor: I've got this. I have a ton of experience making ex-boyfriends' lives miserable. First up, we fill his acoustic guitar with wet cat food. Judge me all you want. I get results.
Quote from Michael
Michael: I still don't have a grip on the human emotional spectrum. You guys are often happy when you should be sad and angry when you should be happy, and texting when you should be driving, which is not an emotion, I know, but it's insane. The point is, in this case, even if it's not rational, you're allowed to feel a little angry. Let yourself off the hook. Process it and work your way through it, and then get your shirt together. Because we have a lot of work to do.
Quote from Michael
Michael: Never seen Chidi like that. He was... chillaxing, which is a word I just invented, combing Chidi and relaxing.
Quote from John
John: Oh, goodie. Cucumber water.
Janet: Nope. This is fresh water from Oprah's estate in Maui with mushrooms from her private bog in the Pyrenees Mountains.
John: Oh, my God. It tastes like candy.
Tahani: You know what they say. A mushroom from Oprah's bog is better than anything from anywhere else.
John: Ugh, I didn't know that they said that. I missed out on all the cool celebrity sayings.
Tahani: Say good-bye to FOMO. You can finally experience the best of the best.
John: The only thing that would make this any better is some hot goss. [chuckles]
Tahani: Very well. Our story begins when I ran into Robbie Williams, Heidi Klum, and the remaining members of Fifth Harmony at the Dolce & Gabbana spring show.
John: Hate him, loathe her, over them, cancel it, tell me everything.