Michael Quote #250

Quote from Michael in Janet(s)

Michael: Wow! Ho-ho! Oh, Janet, you did it! You brought us into your void. If I had a heart, it would be pounding.
Janet: Michael...
Michael: You know, you'd think there'd be side effects, but I feel great. How's the hair? Is it still amazing?
Janet: Michael, there may have been some side effects for the humans.
Michael: Huh.
Eleanor-Janet: Dude, why are there so many Janets? And why do I sound like Janet?
Chidi-Janet: You also look like Janet. Do I? Why? What? What is happening? [groans and holds stomach]
Tahani-Janet: Oh, no, am I... wearing a vest? Ooh, Michael, help me!
Michael: This is going to be tricky. How do we even tell them apart?
Jason-Janet: Oh! [points at his breasts and laughs]
Michael: Okay, that one's Jason.

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 ‘Janet(s)’ Quotes

Quote from Michael

Neil: Well, I've got to run. We're having a little thing in the break room for Marisol's birthday. She turning 39,000,000 again. So, if there's nothing else...
Michael: "If there's nothing else"? Neil, be logical. Not one Good Place resident in over 500 years? Not Jonas Salk? Not Harriet Tubman? Not one single Golden Girl? The Bad Place has hacked your system!
Neil: No, it hasn't. How dare you? Frankly, I'm beginning to resent your tone, sir. If you've got a problem, then go to the Good Place and take it up with the Committee. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get to the break room, because there's cake over there, and if I don't move quickly, Erika will get the last corner piece. Good day, sir!

Quote from Eleanor

Jason: That was awesome! I want to go again!
Eleanor: Where are we?
Michael: We're in the Good Place.
Eleanor: No offense, dude, but you have told us a lot of lies in the last 300 years. So, seriously, where the fork are we? Fork. Shirt. Ash hole. [gasps] Holy forking shirtballs. We're in the Good Place!

Quote from Jason

Chidi-Janet: This is nuts. We're in a void in the body of a white lady.
Eleanor-Janet: Not a lady.
Tahani-Janet: Not a lady, darling.
Jason-Janet: Well, we are white. Let's all say white people things! Billy Joel. I found it on Etsy. There was nowhere to park. Did you refill the Brita?