Tahani Quote #22
Quote from Tahani in Category 55 Emergency Doomsday Crisis
Tahani: Oh, I'm sorry that I looked at the rankings, Michael. But I just don't understand how I'm so low. My entire life, I have tried to be extraordinary, but it just never seemed to be enough.
Michael: Ah. And you thought you could increase your ranking by helping us fix the sinkhole. Tahani, the point evaluations stop the moment you die. But also, out of literally billions, you were one of the most remarkable people on Earth. You have nothing left to prove, to anyone.
Janet: [appears] [chiming] Hi, there. The sinkhole has begun to repair itself. [Tahani gasps]
Michael: It has?
Tahani: Could it be... But how... Did I...? "Tahani saves the un..."
Michael: No, no, no. Still not you. You have nothing to do with it. We've got to leave immediately.
The Good Place Quotes
‘Category 55 Emergency Doomsday Crisis’ Quotes
Quote from Chidi
Chidi: So, to sum up: Utilitarianism posits that the correct choice is the one that causes the most good or pleasure, and the least pain and suffering.
Eleanor: I like this one. It's simple. Ugh, screw all the other complicated theories, why didn't you start with this one?
Chidi: Ah, but here's the problem. If all that matters is the sum total of "goodness," then you can justify any number of bad actions, like torturing one innocent person to save a hundred, or preemptive war...
Quote from Michael
Michael: Ah, Tahani. I've been working on my Western Hemisphere brunch banter. Tell me what you think. That New Yorker article was crazy. You haven't seen Hamilton? Hey, did you hear about Stephanie?
Tahani: Very well done, Michael.
Quote from Jason
Jason: Oh, dip, I get it. It's like, I knew this girl Sheila? She was a black market alligator dealer with a pierced jawbone.
Chidi: Um... Okay, what?
Jason: Sheila was gonna get married to my boy, Donkey Doug, and make him move to Sarasota. It would've broken up my whole break dancing crew and Donkey Doug was our best pop-and-locker. So I hid a bunch of stolen boogie boards in Sheila's garage and called the cops. I framed one innocent gator dealer to save a 60-person dance crew.
Chidi: Shockingly, that is a relevant example of the Utilitarian dilemma. Well done.
Jason: Thanks! [raises hand]
Chidi: Um... Uh, yes, Jianyu?
Jason: Can I be excused? Tahani's doing a brunch party and I want to get there before all the mini-waffles run out.
Chidi: Go ahead, man.
Jason: Yes! [runs out]