Shawn Quote #41

Quote from Shawn in Tinker, Tailor, Demon, Spy

[flashback:]
Glenn: I couldn't figure out how to make it contain your demon essence, so you'll have to wear it over the Vicky suit.
Shawn: Ugh, really? You're the worst, Glenn. Let's do it. Zip her up.
Vicky: Okay, but if I melt, I am gonna be, like, so annoyed.
Michael Skinsuit: Huh. Pretty well-made. I can really feel all the musty skin folds, and... and the dangly bits.
Shawn: The voice is perfect. You sound so much like him, I want to punch you.
Glenn: Are we sure it's okay that we made this? I mean, what are you gonna use it for?
Shawn: [mockingly] What are you gonna use it... [normal voice] Shut up, Glenn. The experiment is about to begin. Let's call the real Michael and send him spiraling down the toilet bowl like the pinched turd he is.

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 ‘Tinker, Tailor, Demon, Spy’ Quotes

Quote from Jason

Glenn: I'll tell you whatever you want to know, but shouldn't we call The Judge?
Eleanor: We're not calling anyone until we figure some things out. We have questions.
Jason: Yeah, for example, if you're a devil, how come you're not wearing Prada? [Eleanor tosses Jason a candy] [gasps] Caramel!

Quote from Tahani

Eleanor: All right, buttheads, what do we do?
Jason: I say we trust Michael. He's our friend.
Tahani: Wait, might be our friend, or he might be a lying trickster who just looks like our friend... the classic Mary-Kate Olsen.

 Shawn Quotes

Quote from The Funeral to End All Funerals

Shawn: Face it, Michael. You lost. Everything you've done, this experiment, the original neighborhood, sending your little cockroach buddies back to Earth, all of it was for nothing. Bam. You're glue.
Michael: Actually, Shawn, that's a very interesting point.
Shawn: Exactly. What?
Michael: Matt, call up the active files of four people still alive on Earth, Kamilah Al-Jamil, Donna Shellstrop, and her stepdaughter Patricia, and Steven Peleaz, AKA Pillboi.
Shawn: They were not part of the experiment. If he gets to bring in random good people into it, I should be able to bring in random bad people. Call up Elizabeth Holmes. No, Henry Kissinger. No... PewDiePie.

Quote from Mindy St. Claire

Shawn: Thank you for these testimonials. A ruling has been reached. [everyone gathers] Oh, you want to hear it. I forgot how needy humans are. [clears throat] Eleanor Shellstrop is a bad person. The progress she has made does not offset her actions on Earth. She deserves to be in the Bad Place.
Michael: Oh!
Shawn: As concerning Jason Mendoza, I have heard no statements nor seen any evidence to suggest... oh, he's from Florida? Yeah, he belongs in the Bad Place.