Eleanor Quote #65
Quote from Eleanor in The Eternal Shriek
Eleanor: He's gonna be tortured? Dang it. I was almost handed a perfect solution to all my problems without having to work for it at all, and now it's gone. Why do bad things always happen to mediocre people who are lying about their identities?
Chidi: Okay, you have two options. You can confess and save Michael, or you can continue to lie and condemn him to an eternity of unimaginable pain.
Eleanor: Or option C... continue to lie about myself and find a way to save Michael. Can we somehow throw Tahani under the bus? That would be a classic "two birds with one stone" scenario. Plus, I'd get her house. [whispers] Three birds.
The Good Place Quotes
‘The Eternal Shriek’ Quotes
Quote from Janet
Eleanor: Ugh, you want a robot killed right, you have to do it yourself.
Janet: Eleanor? Eleanor, no, no, no. Please, wait, wait, wait, wait! Eleanor, I have kids. I have three beautiful children... Tyler, Emma, and little, tiny baby Phillip. Look at Tyler. Tyler has asthma, but he is battling it like a champ. Look at him. No, Eleanor, look at them. [growling] Look at them! Look at them!
Eleanor: [yelps] It's so realistic!
Janet: Eleanor, again, I'm not human. This is a stock photo of the crowd at the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards.
Quote from Michael
Michael: Ugh, I'm sorry I was so grumpy. It's just I'm sad that I have to leave before doing all the human things that I wanted to do. I wanted to get my hair wet. You know, I-I wanted to pull a hamstring. To learn the difference between "toward" and "towards." I wanted to do that thing where you walk down the hallway, and someone else is walking the other way, and then you both lean to one side and then the other, and then you both chuckle over your shared foible. I wanted to get a rewards card, any rewards card. I-I wanted to talk briefly to someone and then say, "Take it sleazy." [chuckles softly] I wanted to eat a saltine.
Tahani: Oh! I actually have some saltines. Here, try this.
Michael: [eats] Pretty dry... and too salty. Well, going out on a real low note here. Okay, bye, everyone.
Tahani: Well, take it sleazy.
Michael: You got to say it?
Tahani: Yes, but then you say it back.
Michael: No, it's not organic.
Quote from Janet
Janet: Here we are. Just press that button, and it's good-bye, Janet. [Chidi groans] Chidi, I can see that you're worried, and I just want to assure you, I am not human, and I cannot feel pain.
Chidi: Ah, thank you. That helps.
Janet: However, I should warn you... I am programmed with a fail-safe measure. As you approach the kill switch, I will begin to beg for my life. It's just there in case of an accidental shut down, but it will seem very real.
Eleanor: Cool. So who's doing this, me or you?
Chidi: Uh, well... I think I have to. Um, being a bystander seems worse, somehow. Okay, here we go.
Janet: Chidi, no, no, no! Chidi, please! Please, please, please don't hurt me. I don't want to die! Please, please...
Chidi: Ah!
Janet: Again, I am not human. I can't die. I am simply an anthropomorphized vessel of knowledge built to make your life easier.
Chidi: Your pleading seems so real.
Janet: Oh, yes, it is a very effective fail-safe.