Eleanor: He's gonna be tortured? Dang it. I was almost handed a perfect solution to all my problems without having to work for it at all, and now it's gone. Why do bad things always happen to mediocre people who are lying about their identities?
Chidi: Okay, you have two options. You can confess and save Michael, or you can continue to lie and condemn him to an eternity of unimaginable pain.
Eleanor: Or option C... continue to lie about myself and find a way to save Michael. Can we somehow throw Tahani under the bus? That would be a classic "two birds with one stone" scenario. Plus, I'd get her house. [whispers] Three birds.