Tahani Quote #15
Quote from Tahani in Jason Mendoza
Tahani: Michael, I hereby tender my resignation. I can no longer in good conscience coordinate any further events in The Good Place. So, I am turning in my evening gloves.
Michael: Tahani...
Tahani: Don't try to make me feel better. The launch was a disaster. Poor Jianyu was so terrified that I fear he may never speak again. My hair is barely cascading down my shoulders.
Michael: Tahani, please. I know your journey with Jianyu has been frustrating, but your situation is actually very typical. Soul mates sometimes take months to really click. You have to be patient. And if anyone should take the blame for the restaurant disaster, it's me. I thought this neighborhood's troubles were behind us. Now I fear the worst.
Tahani: Michael, I hereby rescind the tendering of my resignation. We must keep the neighborhood together. What can I do?
Michael: Oh, well, the sinkhole should be repairing itself in about three days.
Tahani: Well, as soon as it does, we shall re-launch the restaurant. I'll hang posters to get the word out, and in the meantime, I'll host a brunch party every morning to lift people's spirits.
Michael: Ah!
Tahani: While you repair the universe, I shall prepare the eggs.
Michael: Oh, fanciful wordplay.
Tahani: Indeed. That is the Tahani that you know and love.
The Good Place Quotes
‘Jason Mendoza’ Quotes
Quote from Jason
Eleanor: Hang on, hang on. You're not supposed to be here either? You're a mistake, just like me?
Jason: Yeah, and I'm freaking out, dog. There's so much thoughts in my brain, it's like my head is filled with rocks.
Eleanor: How have you managed to stay undiscovered? Because I have had to dodge and weave and barely escape with my life, and you don't seem... Like a super genius.
[flashback:]
Michael: Hello, Jianyu. I'm Michael. Before we start, I know you were a Buddhist monk and kept a vow of silence. Would you prefer to remain silent here as well? [Jianyu nods]
[present:]
Eleanor: You literally haven't said a word since we got here?
Jason: Yeah. When I say I'm meditating, I'm just trying to figure out what the fork is happening. I think we might be in an alien zoo or on a prank show.
Eleanor: No, Jianyu, we're dead.
Jason: Whoa, that's a dope prank. Pfff. Got to give it up.
Quote from Jason
Eleanor: Okay, I need to make sure that this isn't some sort of weird trap. Is your real name Jianyu?
Jason: No. It's Jason Mendoza. And by the way, everyone here thinks I'm Taiwanese. I'm Filipino. That's racist. Heaven is so racist.
Eleanor: But Tahani said that you helped Michael by putting your hand on his chest and doing some sort of healing magic.
Jason: Yeah. A nurse did that to calm me down once when I crashed my Jet Ski into a manatee.
Eleanor: You crashed your Jet Ski into a manatee?
Jason: Yeah. I'm from Jacksonville, Florida. It happens a lot.
Eleanor: What did you do for a living?
Jason: I was an amateur DJ specializing in EDM. [off Eleanor's look] Electronic dance music. I was also an amateur hip-hop backup dancer, an amateur body spray inventor... um, I did pranks on Vine.
Eleanor: None of those are jobs. What did you do to make money?
Jason: Oh, I sold fake drugs to college kids.
Quote from Jason
Jason: I am here to learn about ethnics.
Chidi: Wow, that's great, man. I mean, it's "ethics," but that's great.
Jason: [quietly to Eleanor] Pretty sure it's "ethnics."
Eleanor: Hey, buddy, I'm proud of you. This is your first step towards not sucking.
Jason: Cool. I just have two questions: when are football tryouts? And does this school have a prom?
Chidi: Oh, no.
Eleanor: Oh, wow. For the first time ever, I'm the smartest kid in class.