Jason Quote #6
Quote from Jason in Jason Mendoza
Eleanor: Okay, just sit tight, dude. I have a class to get to.
Jason: Wha... a class? I didn't know there were classes.
Eleanor: Chidi is trying to teach me to be a good person. And it's really hard. Also, Michael has asked me to be his assistant, whatever that means. My whole situation here is getting more and more dicey, so I'm actually really glad to have a place I can come when I just want to be myself.
Jason: Yeah. I miss being myself. Myself was the best.
[flashback to Jason partying at a rave before talking to the DJ, AcidCat:]
AcidCat: What's up, man? You're Jason? You got two minutes. Fred Durst is throwing an orgy on a partially capsized yacht. My dad just texted. It already started. So I'll get right to the point. I listened to your demo. You're terrible.
Jason: Really?
AcidCat: Yeah. Okay? You just don't have any... what's the word? Talent. But don't worry. You got something better than talent, man. You got my approximate size and weight. I'm supposed to play this club for the rest of the week, but I just got an offer to DJ Scott Disick's after party for the Amateur Porn Awards in Reno.
Jason: Whoa! Congrats, bro. That's the dream.
AcidCat: It's your dream, man. It's my Tuesday. I just need somebody to fill in. Put on the helmet. Press spacebar on the computer. Those idiots won't know the difference. For the next week, Jason, you are AcidCat. [puts the helmet on Jason]
Jason: Whoa, there's a lot of old gum in here.
The Good Place Quotes
‘Jason Mendoza’ Quotes
Quote from Jason
Eleanor: Hang on, hang on. You're not supposed to be here either? You're a mistake, just like me?
Jason: Yeah, and I'm freaking out, dog. There's so much thoughts in my brain, it's like my head is filled with rocks.
Eleanor: How have you managed to stay undiscovered? Because I have had to dodge and weave and barely escape with my life, and you don't seem... Like a super genius.
[flashback:]
Michael: Hello, Jianyu. I'm Michael. Before we start, I know you were a Buddhist monk and kept a vow of silence. Would you prefer to remain silent here as well? [Jianyu nods]
[present:]
Eleanor: You literally haven't said a word since we got here?
Jason: Yeah. When I say I'm meditating, I'm just trying to figure out what the fork is happening. I think we might be in an alien zoo or on a prank show.
Eleanor: No, Jianyu, we're dead.
Jason: Whoa, that's a dope prank. Pfff. Got to give it up.
Quote from Jason
Eleanor: Okay, I need to make sure that this isn't some sort of weird trap. Is your real name Jianyu?
Jason: No. It's Jason Mendoza. And by the way, everyone here thinks I'm Taiwanese. I'm Filipino. That's racist. Heaven is so racist.
Eleanor: But Tahani said that you helped Michael by putting your hand on his chest and doing some sort of healing magic.
Jason: Yeah. A nurse did that to calm me down once when I crashed my Jet Ski into a manatee.
Eleanor: You crashed your Jet Ski into a manatee?
Jason: Yeah. I'm from Jacksonville, Florida. It happens a lot.
Eleanor: What did you do for a living?
Jason: I was an amateur DJ specializing in EDM. [off Eleanor's look] Electronic dance music. I was also an amateur hip-hop backup dancer, an amateur body spray inventor... um, I did pranks on Vine.
Eleanor: None of those are jobs. What did you do to make money?
Jason: Oh, I sold fake drugs to college kids.
Quote from Jason
Jason: I am here to learn about ethnics.
Chidi: Wow, that's great, man. I mean, it's "ethics," but that's great.
Jason: [quietly to Eleanor] Pretty sure it's "ethnics."
Eleanor: Hey, buddy, I'm proud of you. This is your first step towards not sucking.
Jason: Cool. I just have two questions: when are football tryouts? And does this school have a prom?
Chidi: Oh, no.
Eleanor: Oh, wow. For the first time ever, I'm the smartest kid in class.